Funny Quotes and Sayings

Funny Women Quotes

2010-12-26T08:44:00.002+05:30

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.

I hate women because they always know where things are.
by Malcolm de Chazal

Women are scientifically proven to be right even when they are wrong.

A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.

Man has will, but woman has her way.

What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Women make me happy. Once accepting that i will never be able to understand them makes me more happier.

A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.

There are two ways to rule a women and nobody knows them..

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… just couple of nations not talking with each other.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

Women sleep on the right side of the bed because even while sleeping they have to be right!

Men will spend 2 bucks on a 1 buck item that they desperately need. Women will spend 1 buck on a 2 buck item that they don’t need at all.

If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's - That's because she changes it more often.

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

Funny Movie Quotes

2010-01-25T22:15:00.001+05:30

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.
Bill Murray (What about Bob)

You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.
Mike Myers (Austin Powers: Goldmember)

“Demented and sad, but social.”
— The Breakfast Club

“This is so bad it’s gone past good and back to bad again.”
— Ghost World

Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room.
President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) in 'Dr. Strangelove'

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Airplane!

“You idiots! These are not them! You’ve captured their stunt doubles!” — Spaceballs

Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb.
Dark Helmet, Space Balls

You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music.
Jim Carrey

I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I have.
Arthur

You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
Groucho in 'Duck Soup'

"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.”
Uncle Buck

Intelligence Quotes And Sayings

2010-01-10T19:31:00.000+05:30

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.
Salvador Dali

Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow.
- Unknown

The ability to focus attention on important things is a defining characteristic of intelligence.
Robert J. Shiller

Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Belief is the death of intelligence.
Robert Anton Wilson

A genius is someone who asks dumb questions that nobody else would ask, an idiot asks the smart questions that have already been answered
- Unknown

Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but he is man only by his heart.
Henri Frederic Amiel

There are no great limits to growth because there are no limits of human intelligence, imagination, and wonder.
Ronald Reagan

Intellectual brilliance is no guarantee against being dead wrong.
- David Fasold

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
Albert Einstein

I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic.
Lisa Alther

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Ambrose Bierce

Funny Golf Quotes

2009-07-11T11:33:00.000+05:30

Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
(Arthur Daley)

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.

Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.
(Michael Green)

Golf is a funny game and today seemed to go my way, so it was nice to get off to a good start.

There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf.
(Robert Lynd)

Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.
(Arnold Palmer)

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
(Mark Twain)

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

Golf is Life. If you can't take golf, you can't take life.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
(William Wordsworth)

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
(Joey Adams)

Born to golf. Forced to work.

Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. A dinner without wine.
(Jim Murray)

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.
(Percey Boomer)

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
(Billy Graham)

The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it.
(Jack Burke)

Marriage Quotes and Sayings

2009-07-08T22:19:00.000+05:30

Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you'll meet that night.

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

Love is a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.

What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.

You can't be value free when it comes to marriage.
by Al Gore

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
by George Bernard Shaw

Divorce is the past tense of marriage.

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.
by Tom Mullen

Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.

There is no such cozy combination as man and wife.
by Menander

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.

An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

All weddings are similar, but every marriage is different.
by John Berger

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
by Oscar Wilde

The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.

Never say marriage has more joy than pain.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
by Groucho Marx

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

The First Bond of Society is Marriage.
by Cicero

College Quotes and Sayings

2009-06-19T21:52:00.006+05:30

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors.
- Anonymous

A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed.
- Robert Ingersoll

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
- Robert Frost

A college education is not a quantitative body of knowledge salted away in a card file. It is a taste for knowledge, a taste for philosophy, if you will; a capacity to explore, to question, to perceive relationships, between fields of knowledge and experience.
- A. W. Griswold

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach.
- Will Rogers

The chief value in going to college is that it's the only way to learn it really doesn't matter.
- G.E. Howes

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.
- Dave Barry

College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?
- David Wood

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.
- Elbert Hubbard

Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn't.
- L. Henderson

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.
- Bob Dylan

College is like a fountain of knowledge - and the students are there to drink.
- Unknown

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.
- John Ciardi

The purpose of primary education is the development of your weak characteristics; the purpose of university education, the development of your strong.
- Nevin Fenneman

A college education shows a man how little other people know.
- T.C. Haliburton

A college education should equip one to entertain three things: a friend, an idea and oneself.
- Thomas Ehrlich

The purpose of the university is to make students safe for ideas -- not ideas safe for students.
- Clark Kerr

The freshmen bring a little knowledge in and the seniors take none out, so it accumulates through the years.
- A. Lawrence Lowell

If you have a college degree you can be absolutely sure of one thing you have a college degree.
- Author Unknown

Talk may be cheap but intelligent conversation is very expensive these days. Ask anyone with a kid in college.
- Eathian

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.
- Craig Kilborn

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Albert Einstein Quotes

2009-06-15T20:58:00.003+05:30

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.

Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.

Truth is what stands the test of experience.

True art is characterized by an irresistible urge in the creative artist.

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.

Stupidity Quotes and Sayings

2009-06-12T21:55:00.000+05:30

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter.

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.
- Confucius

OMG!! The rain is wet!!!

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I just made your horn louder.

Please provide the date of your death.

Being stupid is its own reward.

What a waste it is to lose one's mind.
Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.

Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Stupidity is better kept a secret than displayed.

Stop being so stupid. It’s my turn.

Don’t expect the unexpected unless the unexpected expects you.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
- Sam Levenson

The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.
- Dwight Eisenhower

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

The internet is a great way to get on the net.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure.
-Dan Quayle

First, God created idiots. That was just for practice. Then He created school boards.
- Mark Twain

Stupidity is the language of most of the guys

Everybody has a photographic memory. Some people just don’t have film.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.

There is no sin except stupidity.

Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motive.

Flirting Quotes and Sayings

2009-05-09T13:10:00.000+05:30

Flirtation, attention without intention.
-Paul Blouet

Flirting is the art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

Women flirt to keep their stock high, men to get somewhere.
-Mignon McLaughlin

Truth is a great flirt.
- Franz Liszt

The greatest miracle of love is the cure of coquetry.

To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.
-E.W. Howe

Flirting is the art of keeping intimacy at a safe distance.

If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject.
-Mignon McLaughlin

Flirting is the art of keeping intimacy at a safe distance.”
- Sabina

I’m an organ donor, need anything?

God created the flirt as soon as he made the fool.
-Victor Hugo

All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.

You remind me of my next girlfriend.

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword.
-Charles Reade

Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me?

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?
-Helen Rowland

When a flirt fishes for a man, she fishes merely for the sport.

Can I borrow a quarter?
-What for?
I want to call my mother and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

Flirting is the sin of the virtuous and the virtue of the sinful.
-Paul Bourget

Did the sun just come out or did you just smile at me?

In High School I was voted `Class Flirt` although I didn`t see it, but everyone else did!
-Kelly Kole

One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you’ve become harmless.
-Liz Smith

I don`t flirt and I don`t play the people that I`m meeting with.
-Sherilyn Fenn

Can’t wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful everyday.

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Smile Quotes and Sayings

2009-05-05T16:58:00.005+05:30

Give your smile to everyone but give your heart to only one.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

A smile is a language that even a baby understands.

A smile confuses an approaching frown.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
by Mark Twain

A smile happens in a flash but its memory can last for a lifetime.

A smile confuses an approaching frown.

A laugh is a smile that bursts.

A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.
by William Arthur Ward

Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug.
by Og Mandino

Smiles form the channel of a future tear.

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.
by Charles Gordy

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.

Even when it is rainy the sun is shining in your smile.

A smile is the universal welcome.
by Max Eastman

If you see a friend without a smile; give him one of yours.
- Proverb

It's smile that expresses what your words can’t.

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
by W.C. Fields

If you smile at someone, they might smile back.

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. Source unknown A spark of kindness starts a fire of love.

Smile at him today, tomorrow he may not be there.

A smile is something you can give away and still keep.

A smile goes a long way. It can show a unloved person that somebody out there who cares about him/her.

Smiling is my favorite exercise.

Most smiles are started by another smile.

Always remember to be happy because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.
- Steve Maraboli

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.

Happy Christmas Quotes and Sayings

2008-12-02T20:34:00.002+05:30

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
- Shirley Temple

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.
- Dale Evans

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.

At Christmas, all roads lead home.

Christmas! 'Tis the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial fire of charity in the heart.
- Washington Irwing

Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.
- Unknown

If there is no joyous way to give a festive gift, give love away.
- Unknown

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
- Charles Dickens

Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
- Kin Hubbard

Keep your Christmas-heart open all the year round.
Jessica Archmint

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
- Harlan Miller

Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends."
- Margaret Thatcher

This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.
- Taylor Caldwell

Thanksgiving Day Quotes and Sayings

2008-11-17T22:30:00.002+05:30

Thanksgiving is nothing if not a glad and reverent lifting of the heart to God in honor and praise for His goodness.
- Robert Casper Lintner

We give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
- Irv Kupcinet

Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.
- Seneca

On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime.

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
- P. J. O Rourke

Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.
- William Shakespeare

Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.
- Aesop

Thanksgiving is possible only for those who take time to remember; no one can give thanks who has a short memory.

Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.
- E.P. Powell

On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.
W J Bryan

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.
- Cicero

The thing I'm most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands.

Short Funny Quotes

2008-06-25T14:58:00.003+05:30

Drink beer Save water .

Practice makes perfect but nobody is perfect so whats the point of practicing?

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

A rich man's joke is always funny.

Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

Love is a battlefield.

If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life.
- Tommy Lasorda

It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

Never pick a fight with anyone who buys ink by the barrel.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Everybody is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes.

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

I’ve got problem for your solution.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein

Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

The most dangerous position in which to sleep is with your feet on your office desk.

Half of the people in the world are below average .

I don’t pray because I don’t want to bore God.

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try.
Short Funny Quote by Homer J. Simpson

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
- Steven Wright

40th Birthday Quotes and Sayings

2008-06-25T14:53:00.001+05:30

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
Helen Rowland

At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.
Author Unknown

Be wise with speed; A fool at forty is a fool indeed.

This wine is forty years old. It certainly doesn't show its age.
Latin: Hoc vinum Falernum annorum quadragenta est. Bene aetatem fert.
Cicero

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
George Bernard Shaw

The first forty years of life give us the text: the next thirty supply the commentary.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Life begins at forty.
W. B. Pitkin

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.
Victor Hugo

The I just woke up face of your 30's is the all day long face of your 40's.
Libby Reid

The best years of a woman’s life - the ten years between 39 and 40 .

At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgement.
Benjamin Franklin

Once you hit forty you start adding letters “i’m 39A this year” .

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.
Voltaire

Women are most fascinating between the ages of 35 and 40 after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass 40, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.
Christian Dior

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty eight and forty
James Thurber

The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men.
Colleen McCullough

At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.
John Andrew Holmes

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever
Don Marquis

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years experience.

Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.
Dan Bennett

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40.
Author Unknown

35 is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
Oscar Wilde

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
Bernard M. Baruch

To be 70 years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be 40 years old.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

Forty isn’t old, if you’re a tree

Life begins at forty.

Cute Sayings and Quotes

2008-06-15T21:19:00.003+05:30

Don’t kill the dream - execute it!

Sometimes, a cute friend makes an acutely painful enemy.

No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won’t make you cry.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheaper than medicine…

To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world”

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.

You laugh because I’m different, I laugh because you’re all the same.

I’m cute in gym shorts! I’m slim and trim, and you’d be impressed - I’ve good calves.

Never live life unnoticed .

You’ve got you’re perfect hands on my nervous heart.

In order to be irreplaceable, you must always be different.

You laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at you because you’re all the same.

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.

Cute is when a person’s personality shines through their looks. Like in the way they walk, every time you see them you just want to run up and hug them.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

Having nothing, nothing can you lose.

Don’t drown the man who taught you to swim.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.

You are well-educated and you look cute, but that’s not going to cut it.

Nothing improves the memory more than trying to forget.

Insanity is hereditary you get it from your kids.

Cats are magical - the more you pet them the longer you both live.

It’s funny that those things your kids did that got on your nerves seem so cute when your grandchildren do them.

Never look back unless youre planning to go that way.

What lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny matters to what lies within us.

Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it’s the moments that take your breath away…

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Half of the people in the world are below average.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with them, I’d be at the bottom to catch them.

Love is just something you can’t explain, like the look of a rose, the smell of rain, or the feeling of forever .

Life is not a game so don’t play it, if you don’t know how to win it.

Break Up Quotes and Sayings

2008-06-15T21:04:00.000+05:30

Two things in life hurts very much
1 . When someone loves you but do not tells you.
2 . When someone do not love you but tells you.

We enter relationships as a somebody and leave them as a nobody.

The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.

The worst thing about loving you was watching you love someone else.

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.

The heart are made to be broken.
- Oscar Wilde

Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream.

If there is a reason why you met that person, then there is a reason why you guys broke up too.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
- Kahlil Gibran

Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn’t think you wanted.

I never realized how much our relationship was like glass, until it broke.

No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.

Breaking up is not a stupid thing; instead it makes you a better person and realize your mistakes.

A break up is like a broken mirror.It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.

The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.

Love is not something that u can find, love is something that finds you.

The hottest love has the coldest end.
- Socrates

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.

Breaking up is like being buried but not dying.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken then get hurt trying to put it pack together.

Never make a man a priority when he only makes you and option.

You don’t die from a broken heart . You only wish you did.

Boys always replace with one worry with another, but girls replace one happiness with another during break up .

Perfection Quotes and Sayings

2008-06-11T09:51:00.001+05:30

Gold cannot be pure, and people cannot be perfect.
- Chinese Proverb

Perfection consists not in doing extraordinary things, but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.

Out of perfection nothing can be made. Every process involves breaking something up.
- Joseph Campbell

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.
- Stanley J. Randall

The potentiality of perfection outweighs actual contradictions. Existence in itself is here to prove that it cannot be an evil.
- Sir Rabindranath Tagore

Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence.
- Rosalynn Carter

Friendship is the perfection of love, and superior to love; it is love purified, exalted, proved by experience and a consent of minds. Love, Madam, may, and love does, often stop short of friendship.
- Samuel Richardson

Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.

Out of perfection nothing can be made. Every process involves breaking something up.
- Joseph Campbell

Perfect is determined in shortened measures of time, not over long periods of time or lifetimes. It would be unnatural.

Even the best needles are not sharp at both ends.
- Chinese Proverb

Perfection is finally attained, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.
- Antoine De Saint

Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.
- Thomas Carlyle

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Perfection has one grave defect: it is apt to be dull.
- William Somerset Maugham

No one is perfect, that's why pencils have erasers.

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
- Aristotle

Environment Quotes and Sayings

2008-06-09T18:15:00.002+05:30

Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.

Don't blow it - good planets are hard to find.

The human race will be the cancer of the planet.
- Julian Huxley,

Humans merely share the Earth. We can only protect the land, not own it.

Waste not the smallest thing created, for grains of sand make mountains, and atomies infinity.
- E. Knight

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.
- Thomas Fuller

A virgin forest is where the hand of man has never set foot.

We cannot command Nature except by obeying her.
- Francis Bacon

Every day is Earth Day.

In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don't breathe the air.

We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if mankind is to survive.
- Albert Einstein

Modern technology - Owes ecology - An apology.

I am the earth. You are the earth. The Earth is dying. You and I are murderers.

Nature's laws affirm instead of prohibit. If you violate her laws you are your own prosecuting attorney, judge, jury, and hangman.
- Luther Burbank

The environmental movement is pessimistic, but we can at least be active pessimists.

Man maketh a death which Nature never made.
- Edward Young

The rose has thorns only for those who would gather it.
-Chinese Proverb

When the soil disappears, the soul disappears.
- Ymber Delecto

To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one's own in the midst of abundance.
- Buddha

After a visit to the beach, it's hard to believe that we live in a material world.
- Pam Shaw

We have been god-like in the planned breeding of our domesticated plants, but rabbit-like in the unplanned breeding of ourselves.
- Arnold Toynbee

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Sweet Quotes and Sayings

2008-06-09T11:40:00.002+05:30

Love waits for one thing, the right moment.

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

My heart smiled when you kissed my lips. What a sweet surprise.

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.

Do you love me because I’m beautiful or am I beautiful because you love me.

If you’re not the one, then why doses my heart tells me that you are?

My heart smiled when you kissed my lips. What a sweet surprise.

Patience is bitter, but it bears sweet fruit.

Love means never having to say you are sorry.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art.

In every man’s heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.

You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

The truth is that life is delicious, horrible, charming, frightful, sweet, bitter, and that is everything.

I’ll reach for your hand in the cold of winter, I’ll reach for your hand in the heat of summer. But if my short life can’t reach the dawn of spring, I promise, in heaven, I’ll reach you with my wings.

Within you, I lost myself. Without you, I found myself wanting to be lost again.

An angel asked me a while ago to give him one good reason why I love you so much. I smiled and said, “Because there’s no reason not to.”

Enjoy more Sweet Sayings and Sweet Quotes here.

Peace Quotes and Sayings

2008-06-01T08:28:00.003+05:30

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.
- Buddha

If there must be trouble let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.
- Thomas Paine

There was never a good war or a bad peace.
- Benjamin Franklin

Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek but a means by which we arrive at that goal.
- Martin Luther King

We shall find peace. We shall hear angels. We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.
- Anton Chekov

Whenever you are sincerely pleased, you are nourished.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
- Mahatma Gandhi

We seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

A smile is the beginning of peace.
- Mother Teresa

When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.
- Jimi Hendrix

I take it that what all men are really after is some form of, perhaps only some formula of, peace.
- James Conrad

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.
- Mahatma Gandhi

One is left with the horrible feeling now that war settles nothing; that to win a war is as disastrous as to lose one.
- Agatha Christie

We shall find peace. We shall hear angels. We shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.
- Anton Chekov

In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons.
- Croesus

Peace is not only better than war, but infinitely more arduous.
- George Bernard Shaw

Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.
- Mark Twain

Nature Sayings and Quotes

2008-05-25T14:29:00.000+05:30

Joy in looking and comprehending is nature’s most beautiful gift.

How strange that Nature does not knock, and yet does not intrude!
- Emily Dickinson

I’ve always regarded nature as the clothing of God .

God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars.
- Martin Luther

Everything in Nature contains all the powers of Nature. Everything is made of one hidden stuff.
- Anonymous

Nature is just enough; but men and women must comprehend and accept her suggestions.

Nature is not only all that is visible to the eye — it also includes the inner pictures of the soul.

I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright.
- Henry David

To sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment.
- Jane Austen

In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous.

The goal of life is living in agreement with nature.

When Nature has work to be done, she creates a genius to do it.

The sky is the daily bread of the eyes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nature is my medicine.
- Sara Moss

Watching clouds roll by
on a sunny day
Who needs church?
Nature is divine.
- Carrie Latet

I can enjoy society in a room; but out of doors, nature is company enough for me.

Drinking nature is an unquenchable thirst.
- Berri Clove

Nature is a writer’s best friend.
- Agave Powers

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wise Quotes and Sayings

2008-05-21T22:54:00.003+05:30

Clever people master life; the wise illuminate it and create fresh difficulties.
- Emil Nolde

The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.

In seeking Wisdom, the first stage is silence, the second listening, the third remembrance, the fourth practicing, the fifth teaching.
- Solomon Ibn Gabirol

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere. The pessimist sees only the red light. But the truly wise person is color blind.The best mind altering drug is truth.
- Dr. Albert Schweitzer

Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn"t always have to be their top priority.
- William Arthur Ward

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom.
- Thomas Huxley

Decorate yourself from the inside out.
- Andrei Turnhollow

When you start treating people like people, they become people.
- Paul Vitale

Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.

A winner listens, a loser just waits untill it is their turn to talk.

Good for the body is the work of the body, and good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either is the work of the other.
- Henry David Thoreau

Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne

Remember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns!
- Allison Gappa Bottke

Anyone can carry his burden, however hard, until nightfall. Anyone can do his work, however hard, for one day. Anyone can live sweetly, patiently, lovingly, purely, till the sun goes down. And this is all life really means.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Always be a first rate version of your self instead of a second rate version of someone else.

Knowledge talks, wisdom listens.

It is impossible to love and be wise.
- Francis Bacon

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Cool Quotes and Sayings

2008-02-23T12:50:00.009+05:30

Cool is an aesthetic of attitude, behavior, comportment, appearance, style and Zeitgeist. Because of the varied and changing connotations of cool, as well its subjective nature, the word has no single meaning. Just browse through our Cool Quotes and Cool Sayings collection .

Boyfriends last 6 months
Friends last 6 years
But Mom and Dad will always be here.

When i was born, i was so surprised that i didn't talk for a year and a half.

A single flower can be in my garden a single friend my world.

Life is wisdom through years.

Love is black and white until you fall in love.

Fool sees the same tree as a wise man sees but does not see what all it has to offer…

Hold the ones you love close because one day they are there in your arms…and another day they shall be gone.

Don’t drink and drive, cause you might hit a bump and spill.

One person can not love unless they let there gaurd down and let them in.

Family is a place where you can find love!

don’t want you to go,
I don’t want you to leave,
You are all that I have,
And you are all that I need..

Your dad said you r a good girl but i know your a mole...

Love is like a bird it comes and goes...

Many people walk in and out of your life but only true friends will leave footprints in you heart…….

People make mistakes all the time, unfortunately you were one of them.

The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 of the people on earth take up 75% of the worlds population!!!

A anniversary just reminds you of what a mistake you made.

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast...

Don’t be Superstitious, just a little stitious…

Is common sense really common?

If you have lemons throw them back and demand cookies...

I DON’T POLLUTE!!!
I PROMOTE!!!

To get true Love you need to have a open heart and alot of love to share..

Love is something that can not be measured by anything…but it is also something that is misconcepted the most…

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t..

If sorry, apology is not success but it will change a day in your life.

If you are dating a hockey player raise your hands,if you are not raise your standards.

Soccer is the best forget about the rest...

Funny Emo Quotes and Sayings

2008-01-28T21:25:00.002+05:30

Emo is a style of hardcore punk which describes several independent variations of music with common stylistic roots. As such, use of the term has been the subject of much debate. Browse through our Emo Quotes and emo sayings collections .

I wish my lawn mower was emo so it would cut itself.

I hurt myself, so I can feel alive.

It’s quite ironic that in life, the person that brings out the best in you and the one that makes you strong is actually your weakness..

“If I’m such and important person, why do you stutter when i ask you if you know my name?”

“If you love me so much, why are you walking away?”

“Can you give me a reason for coming out of the closet?”

Your coment cheered me up.

Since when was my name on the attendance, am i really that important?”

Sometimes if you love someone so much, it will actually hurt more.

Here we are! A compilation of some of Dan’s best emoisms from the past week.

“Life is worthless. Would you please leave me Evelyn so that I can end it all? You’re the only reason I’m living for and I wanna start dying.”

“Mother suspects that I’m a gayer. She stormed into the room with your dress that I had borrowed last night. I think she found it on the stairs, which is where I left it after coming home drunk earlier.”

“I think I’m dying Evelyn. I can hear the vampire bats of death flapping away in my head like an insane drill of doom”

“What’s the point in eating when you just end up crapping it all out anyway?”

“What’s the point in ever trying to be happy when the very pursuit of happiness is what makes you miserable.”

“I tried to cut myself last night to Joy Division with my toothbrush. I was sitting there trying to peel away as many layers of skin as I could but I couldn’t make a serious dent in my arm. I kept doing it for half an hour. My mother actually thought I was brushing my teeth for that long!”

“Jesus didn’t have to go through half of the pain I’m experiencing now. At least he knew he was special. I have no such assurances. I’m just another outbreak of the human virus which has contaminated Planet Earth.”

“There is such beauty in despair Evelyn, don’t you think?”

“I tried to suffocate myself in the cupboard last night, but I came out when I heard the theme tune to Lost. I simply can’t afford to miss an episode of that show.”

“Euthenasia sounds like such a good idea. Why can’t young people sign up for it voluntarily? I’m tired of waking up every morning and crying into my Rice Krispies. It’s just Sob, Splutter and Sob for me, every goddamn day.”

“I’ve never felt I’ve been valued by anyone. I’m just a waste of space that everyone ignores, like a ghost without a home.”

“Sometimes I want to break out of his vacuum but I just can’t. The space demons keep calling me back into the void. I feel comfortable there!”

“I want to die but I can’t think of a way to end it all that involves cotton wool. I’m terrified of blades.”

“I wish I was a duck, then I wouldn’t have to give a damn y’know? I could just sit there in the pond and float about, eating scraps of bread. It’s my idea of heaven y’know? Perhaps that’s what happens when you die and you’ve been good! You go to the great pond on the sky where the Lord will feed you bits of bread for all eternity”

“I’m tired of being made the scapegoat in life. I feel like I’m being persecuted at every possible moment. Even if a kitty comes up to me I’m suspicious of it’s motives. I know it’s just there to make a fool out of me.”

“If God exists why did He have to give me such a horrible looking body? I mean what’s the point in having nipples if you are a man? I’ve tried biting them off in the past but I doubt I could handle the pain. I don’t know what I’d say to Mother on the way to the hospital either……”

“Bill Hicks………how adorable! There’s just something about him that reminds me of a chipmunk. I’d love to feed him a bit of wood and stroke his wig. What do you mean he’s dead?”

Enjoy here : Emo Comments and Graphics

Invitation Quotes and Sayings

2007-12-31T20:01:00.000+05:30

A dinner invitation, once accepted, is a sacred obligation. If you die before the dinner takes place, your executor must attend.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”
- Robin Williams

Those who easily forgive invite offenses.

We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.
- Anonymous

No party is any fun unless seasoned with folly.
- Desiderius Erasmus

People marry for a variety of reasons and with varying results. But to marry for love is to invite inevitable tragedy.
- Walker

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
- George Santayana

An invitation to a wedding invokes more trouble than a summons to a police court.
- Smith

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
- Bill Watterson

To alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.
- Homer Simpson

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
- Phyllis Diller

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
- Fred Allen

A steady salary is an invitation to mediocrity.
- Anonymous

Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
- Henry Fielding

I go where I’m invited. And all I can tell you is if we accepted every invitation we had, I’d be away every day of my life.
- James

Health : what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
- Phyllis Diller

You don’t have to accept the invitation to get angry. Instead, practice forgiveness, empathy and encouragement.
- Anonymous

I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
- Nancie Carmody

Dance till the stars come down from the rafters
Dance, Dance, Dance till you drop.
- W.H. Auden

Witty Sayings and Quotes

2007-12-25T22:18:00.001+05:30

A critic is a legless man who teaches running.
- Channing Pollock

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
– Mae West

His mouth is a no-go area. It’s like kissing the Berlin Wall
- Helena Bonhem Carter on Woody Allen

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- Henry Kissinger

A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstien, but with the attention span of Daffy Duck.
- Tom Shale on Robin Williams

If I found her floating in my pool, I’d punish my dog.
- Joan Rivers on Yoko Ono

God does not play dice with the universe.
- Albert Einstien

She is as wholesome as a bowl of cornflakes and at least as sexy.
- Dwight McDonald on Doris Day

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- President Harry S Truman

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
- Bob Wells

Can’t act. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.
- Screen Tester on Fred Astaire

An empty suit that goes to funerals and plays golf.
- Ross Perot on Dan Quayle

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper.
- Rex Reed on Marlon Brando

He could start a row in an empty house
- Sir Alex Ferguson on footballer Dennis Wise

I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
– Mark Twain

I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.
– Irvin S. Cobb

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
– Clarence Darrow

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.
– Moses Hadas

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
–Abraham Lincoln

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.
– Groucho Marx

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
– Oscar Wilde

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
–Winston Churchill

I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.
– Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
– John Bright

When Kissinger can get the Nobel Peace Prize, what is there left for satire?
- Tom Lehrer on Henry Kissinger

Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.
- Abbey Hoffman

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?
- Don Rickles

Breasts like Granite and a brain like Swiss Cheese
- Billy Wilder on Marilyn Monroe

The thief of bad gags.
- Walter Winchell on Milton Berne

I’ve noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born
- Ronald Reagan

The average person thinks he isn’t.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni

He’s proof that there’s life after death.
- Mort Sahl on Ronald Reagan

The only genius with an IQ of 60.
- Gore Vidal on Andy Warhol

He’s so ugly they ought to donate his face to the world wildlife fund.
- Muhammad Ali on Joe Frazier

She’s so stupid she returns bowling balls because they’ve got holes in them.
- Joan Rivers on Bo Derek

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer.
- Douglas Adams

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.
- Jean Giraudoux

Shaw writes his plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve.
- George Nathan on George Bernard Shaw

He is to acting what Liberace was to pumping iron.
- Rex Reed on Sylvester Stallone

What makes him think a middle aged actor, who’s played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?
- Ronald Reagan commenting on Eastwood’s bid to become mayor of Carmel

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
- Shakespeare

Free Business Cards
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
- W C Fields

He had the compassion of an icicle and the generosity of a pawnbroker.
- S J Perelman on Groucho Marx

Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn’t expect to be paid back.
- Unknown

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.
- Anonymous

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.
- Chuck Norris

Nothing makes a man so modest about his income as a tax form to fill out.

I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
- W.C. Fields

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.
- Josh Billings

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the ones that never have it.
- Finley Peter Dunne

Hope you have enjoyed our collection of Witty Sayings and Witty Quotes

Romantic Sayings and Quotes

2007-12-22T12:24:00.001+05:30

Browse through our cool collection of Romantic Quotes , Romantic Sayings and Quotations

Men always want to be a woman’s first love - women like to be a man’s last romance.

Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
- Aristotle

A true man does not need to romance a different girl every night, a true man romances the same girl for the rest of her life.

There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.”
- George Sand

The courses of true love never did run smooth.
- William Shakespeare

Romance is the fiction that owes no allegiance to the God of things as they are. In the novel the writer’s thought is tethered to probability, but in romance it ranges at will over the entire region of the imagination.

But true love is a durable fire,
In the mind ever burning,
Never sick, never old, never dead,
From itself never turning.
- Walter Raleigh

Love builds bridges where there are none.
- Delaney

A historical romance is the only kind of book where chastity really counts.

I love you - those three words have my life in them.

Romance is the poetry of literature.

He must have a truly romantic nature, for he weeps when there is nothing at all to weep about.

Soul meets soul on lover’s lips.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

I have found men who didn’t know how to kiss.
I have always found time to teach them.
- Mae West

Life without love is like a tree Without blossom and fruit.
- Khalil Gibra

True poets don’t write
Their thoughts with a pen…
They release the ink that flows
From within their heart.
- Anonymous

Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.
- Jean Anouilh

Smile at each other, smile at your wife,
smile at your husband, smile at your children,
smile at each other–it doesn’t matter who it is–
and that will help you to grow up in greater love
for each other.
- Mother Teresa

A goal, a love and a dream give you total control over your body and your life.
- John Wayne

Swimming Quotes and Sayings

2007-12-20T15:01:00.000+05:30

The water is your friend. You don’t have to fight with water, just share the same spirit as the water, and it will help you move.
- Aleksandr Popov

While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior.
- Henry C. Link

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim.
- Russian Proverb

Swimming isn’t everything, winning is.
- Mark Spitz

Seventy-five percent of our planet is water - can you swim?
- Author Unknown

What goes around comes around, just like a flip turn.
- Author Unknown

If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you.
- Bruce Lee

Swimming: From the outside looking in, you can’t understand it. From the inside looking out, you can’t explain it.
- Author Unknown

Traveling to swimming meets took me beyond my small-town existence, gave me a hint of the exciting world outside of my own home.
- Esther Williams

Swimming - what real men do while boys play football.
- Author Unknown

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.
- Woodrow Wilson

Swimming is more than a once-every-four-years sport. My goal is to bring attention to swimming - to give it some personality.
- Michael Phelps

Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal.
- Jerome Fleishman

Swimming gave me my start, but my pal Tarzan did the real work. He set me up nicely.
- Johnny Weissmuller

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
- Edsger Dijkstra

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
- Jack Handy

Swimming upstream in the music business is a hard thing to do.
- John Oates

Nobody cared about swimming. You could draw a crowd for basketball.
- Merlin Olsen

Water for me is so essential, like swimming.
- Nastassja Kinski

Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal.
- Robert Collier

I love sailing and water sports; whether it’s water skiing, body boarding or surfing or simply swimming in the ocean.
- Karolina Kurkova

Swimming is : Being in a state of vertigo or dizziness; as, a swimming brain.

Funny Halloween Sayings and Quotes

2007-12-15T19:46:00.000+05:30

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
- Jean Baudrillard

I see my face in the mirror and go, ‘I’m a Halloween costume? That’s what they think of me?
- Drew Carey

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
- William Shakespeare

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
- Erma Bombeck

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.’ I didn’t know what to do. I’d knock on people’s doors and go, ‘Trick or treat. No thank you.’
- Rita Rudner

When witches go riding,
and black cats are seen,
the moon laughs and whispers,
‘tis near Halloween.
- Anonymous

There is something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceivable mystery.
- Joseph Conrad

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
- Lindsay Lohan

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
- Rodney Dangerfield

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
- Jean Baudrillard

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on.
- River Phoenix

I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
- Charles Swartz

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.
- Richard Harris Barharn

On Halloween, witches come true;
Wild ghosts escape from dreams.
Each monster dances in the park.
- Nicholas Gordon

Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting, Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
- William Shakespeare

After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.
- Emily Luchetti

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.
- Chris Rock

The werewolf is neither man nor wolf, but a satanic creature with the worst qualities of both.
- Warner Oland

The witches fly
Across the sky,
The owls go, “Who? Who? Who?”
The black cats yowl
And green ghosts howl,
“Scary Halloween to you!”
- Nina Willis Walter

Volleyball Quotes and Sayings

2007-12-14T19:00:00.001+05:30

It takes a lot of hard work and dedication just like any pro sport. Especially for beach volleyball you don’t have to be tall or as fast as other sports. You just have to have the skills.
- Misty May

Volleyball is the sport through which I am able to express my God-given talents of being an athlete. It is a sport which involves relating, pushing, and encouraging your teammates.

Volleyball anchored me at a time in my life when I needed it. It gave me a reason for being this big, big girl.
- Gabrielle Reece

Volleyball is a Jewish sport. It’s fun, and nobody can get hurt.
- Gail Parent

Volleyball is my life, everything else is just details.

A mere forty years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that’s what freedom is all about.
- Newt Gingrich

Once I got past my anger toward my mother, I began to excel in volleyball and modelling.
- Gabrielle Reece

I played varsity on all of them for four years. I’m 5′9 and that’s not that tall for a center so I was a forward. I loved playing volleyball and basketball and track I was good at, but it stressed me out.
- Bridgette Wilson

I’ve worked too hard and too long to let anything stand in the way of my goals. I will not let my teammates down and I will not let myself down.
- Mia Hamm

I grew up on the beach and played side-out scoring all my life, but rally scoring is better for our sport. There is pressure on every play. You can’t make a mistake, but that also means your opponent can’t make a mistake. It makes the matches more exciting to watch.
- Holly McPeak

You touch every other ball and, if you screw up, you only have one more person to back you up. You can’t go hide in the corner.
- Kerri Walsh

Anyone can support a team that is winning - it takes no courage. But to stand behind a team to defend a team when it is down and really needs you, that takes a lot of courage.
- Bart Starr

I got the nickname Spitfire for a reason. I burned inside to play volleyball. I loved the competition of it.
- Summer Altice

Volleyball is a dandy game and more besides.
- Peter Wardale

My dream was to be either a volleyball player or a veterinarian.
- Gisele

Give it your all on the sprawl, Drop a pancake and keep it clean, Find the target, put ‘em on the hook then dish it up, flare and catch some air, Check the set, bring some heat and watch them bail!

Volleyball is 20 percent luck and 80 percent style.

If volleyball was easy it would be called football.

VolleyBall Life :
1. we can get it up in any position
2. our shorts are tighter than our game
3. we can handle a little floor burn every now and then
4. we’re always gonna hit it hard
5. we’ll play with you indoors or outdors
6. balls never hit the floor and we’ll get a touch on all of them that come our way
7. we can play with 2 or 6 other people
8. we’ve got quick feet and quick hands
9. we like it quick hard and fast
10. and no matter what we gonna beat you up
…because volleyball is more than just a sport, it’s a way of life……

Hope you enjoyed these Cool Volleyball Sayings and Volleyball Quotes

Funny Victory Quotes and Sayings

2007-12-10T13:14:00.000+05:30

Victory has a hundred fathers, but defeat is an orphan.
- Thomas Campbell

Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment; full effort is full victory.
- Mahatma Gandhi

There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.
- Michael Eyquen de Montaigne

The people who remained victorious were less like conquerors than conquered.
- St. Augustine

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
- Josh Billings

Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat.
- Malcolm Forbes

Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.
- Abraham Lincoln

The most dangerous moment comes with victory.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.
- Muhammad Ali

There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you win.
- Elie Wiesel

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
- Margaret Thatcher

But above all things truth is victor.
- Bible

Victory; a matter of staying power.
- Elbert Hubbard

The secret of all victory lies in the organization of the non-obvious.
- Oswald Spengler

Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
- Bernadette Devlin

The secret of success is this: there is no secret of success.
- Elbert Hubbard

Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.
- Red Sanders

Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.
- Anonymous

I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.
- Aristotle

The ladder of success is never crowded at the top.
- Napoleon Hill

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You have got to set your self on fire for it.
- Anonymous

I do not think that winning is the most important thing. I think winning is the only thing.
- Bill Veeck

The god of victory is said to be one-handed, but peace gives victory on both sides.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A loser doesn’t know what he’ll do if he loses, but talks about what he’ll do if he wins, and a winner doesn’t talk about what he’ll do if he wins, but knows what he’ll do if he loses.
- Mario Puzo

Whether in chains or in laurels, liberty knows nothing but victories.
- Douglas Macarthur

Horse Riding Quotes and Sayings

2007-11-22T19:46:00.000+05:30

There is no secret so close as that between a rider and his horse.
- R S Surtees

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.
- Jeffrey Bernard

Money, horse racing and women, three things the boys just can’t figure out.
- Will Rogers

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid and stable business.
- John Steinbeck

Horse racing is animated roulette.
- Roger Kahn

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
- Will Rogers

Nobody has ever bet enough on a winning horse.
- Richard Sasuly

He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on.
- Benjamin Franklin

Ride the horse in the direction that it’s going.
- Werner Erhard

This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.
- Ted Walsh

I had a horse, always, and I’d ride the horse in the summertime, sometimes bare back - gentle horse, you understand.
- Sam Donaldson

Horse Racing Fantasy is exactly what the sport needs. It’s exciting and educational. Good work!!
- Nick Hines

No horse gets anywhere until he is harnessed. No stream or gas drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick

When my horse is running good, I don’t stop to give him sugar.
- Doug Horton

I ride my horse at competition level.
- Alannah Myles

A horse never runs so fast as when he has other horses to catch up and outpace.
- Ovid

A horse is a thing of beauty… none will tire of looking at him as long as he displays himself in his splendor.
- Xenophon

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
- Henny Youngman

Angelina wanted to make sure that any fighting in the movie would be comparable to any male actor. Everything from stick fighting to horse riding was real to her.
- Jan de Bont

As a good horse is not very apt to jump over a bank, if left to guide himself, I let mine pick his own way.
- Buffalo Bill

I have seven horses. I’m known to go off on my horse for about six hours in the wilderness.
- Armand Assante

If a horse won’t eat it, I don’t want to play on it.
- Richie Allen

Merry Christmas Quotes and Sayings

2007-11-19T08:28:00.000+05:30

Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.
- Mary Ellen Chase

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.
- Bart Simpson

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.
- Richard Lamm

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.
- Agnes M. Pharo

Christmas, in its final essence, is for grown people who have forgotten what children know. Christmas is for whoever is old enough to have denied the unquenchable spirit of man.
- Margaret Cousins

From Home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
- Emily Matthews

There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.
- Bill McKibben

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.
- Calvin Coolidge

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!
- Charles Dickens

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
- Burton Hillis

The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing other’s loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas.
- W. C. Jones

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark.
- Dick Gregory

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
- Charles Dickens

Peace on earth will come to stay, when we live Christmas every day.
- Helen Steiner Rice

Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas time.
- Laura Ingalls Wilder

Isn’t it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don’t know what exactly, but it’s something that you don’t mind so much not having at other times.
- Kate L. Bosher

Before the ice is in the pools,
Before the skaters go,
Or any cheek at nightfall
Is tarnished by the snow,
Before the fields have finished,
Before the Christmas tree,
Wonder upon wonder
Will arrive to me!
- Emily Dickinson

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
- Garrison Keillor

Christmas is forced upon a reluctant and disgusted nation by the shopkeepers and the press; on its own merits it would wither and shrivel in the fiery breath of universal hatred.
- George Bernard Shaw

Instead of being a time of unusual behavior,Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish. Christmas, in short, is about the only chance a man has to be himself.
- Francis C. Farley

Christmas is for children. But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.
- Lenora Mattingly Weber

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
- Oren Arnold

Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren’t for Christmas
We’d all be Jewish.
- Benny Hill

I can understand people simply fleeing the mountainous effort Christmas has become… but there are always a few saving graces and finally they make up for all the bother and distress.
- May Sarton

May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,
The gladness of Christmas give you hope,
The warmth of Christmas grant you love.
- Anonymous

Except the Christ be born again tonight
In dreams of all men, saints and sons of shame,
The world will never see his kingdom bright.
- Vachel Lindsay

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
- P.J. O’Rourke

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.
- Peg Bracken

Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance.It may weave a spell of nostalgia.Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.
- Augusta E. Rundel

Where charity stands watching and faith holds wide the door the dark night wakes - the glory breaks,Christmas comes once more.
- Phillips Brooks

Redneck Quotes and Sayings

2007-11-18T09:07:00.000+05:30

He who laughs last probably doesn’t understand the joke.

Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.

If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!

If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary form.

Don’t worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.

If you lie to the computer, it will get you.

You couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.

If you see an onion ring - answer it!

I’d rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a
5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than…

She’s wound up tighter than the girdle of a baptist minister’s
wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.

My sister is soooooo ugly, we had to tie a pork chop around her
neck to get the dogs to play her.

You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.

It’s colder than a mother-in-law’s love.

She’s uglier than a bucket full of armpits. Bless her heart.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Ain’t no point in beatin’ a dead horse…’course, can’t hurt none either.

I’d love to have a dress just like that, but I don’t go to many Puerto Rican proms.

He’s so stupid, he couldn’t find his ass with both hands.

Retired Life Sayings and Quotes

2007-09-19T17:57:00.000+05:30

Retired Life Sayings and Quotes Collection

Retired Life is the Autumn of Life .

Everything old is new again.

Goodbye Tension, Hello Pension .

I’m so busy now, how did I ever find the time to work 8 hours a day.

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

Retired, Earned it, Living it, Loving it

My doctor says I’m in the first stages of Fossilization.

Relax, refresh, recharge, renew, revive, and rediscover yourself!

You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.

There is nothing like a dream to create the future.

Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

Funny Math Quotes and Sayings

2007-09-19T12:41:00.000+05:30

A mathematician is a scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.

Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

Mathematics - the unshaken Foundation of Sciences, and the plentiful Fountain of Advantage to human affairs.

I don't agree with mathematics; the sum total of zeros is a frightening figure.

If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.

Math is radical!

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.

It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.

Arithmetic is where numbers fly like pigeons in and out of your head.

Arithmetic is numbers you squeeze from your head to your hand to your pencil to your paper till you get the answer.

Even stranger things have happened; and perhaps the strangest of all is the marvel that mathematics should be possible to a race akin to the apes.

So if a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics; for in demonstrations, if his wit be called away never so little, he must begin again.

The essence of mathematics is not to make simple things complicated, but to make complicated things simple.

The human mind has never invented a labor-saving machine equal to algebra.

The mathematics are distinguished by a particular privilege, that is, in the course of ages, they may always advance and can never recede.

Go down deep enough into anything and you will find mathematics. ~Dean Schlicter

It is not the job of mathematicians... to do correct arithmetical operations. It is the job of bank accountants.

Trigonometry is a sine of the times.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Mathematics is as much an aspect of culture as it is a collection of algorithms.

Sometimes it is useful to know how large your zero is.

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

Mathematics is the only good metaphysics.

The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. Persecution is used in theology, not in arithmetic.

Music is the pleasure the human mind experiences from counting without being aware that it is counting.

How many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards? You can subtract it as many times as you want, and it leaves 76 every time.

But mathematics is the sister, as well as the servant, of the arts and is touched with the same madness and genius.

Still more astonishing is that world of rigorous fantasy we call mathematics.

Mathematics is the supreme judge; from its decisions there is no appeal.

Although he may not always recognize his bondage, modern man lives under a tyranny of numbers.

God does not care about our mathematical difficulties; He integrates empirically.

If there is a God, he's a great mathematician.

The different branches of Arithmetic - Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.

Geometry is not true, it is advantageous.

Infinity is a floorless room without walls or ceiling.

God is real, unless declared integer.

If a healthy minded person takes an interest in science, he gets busy with his mathematics and haunts the laboratory.

Proof is an idol before whom the pure mathematician tortures himself.

In the binary system we count on our fists instead of on our fingers.

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars. That's subtraction.

Why do we believe that in all matters the odd numbers are more powerful?

One of the endlessly alluring aspects of mathematics is that its thorniest paradoxes have a way of blooming into beautiful theories.

The man ignorant of mathematics will be increasingly limited in his grasp of the main forces of civilization.

Although I am almost illiterate mathematically, I grasped very early in life that any one who can count to ten can count upward indefinitely if he is fool enough to do so.

Nature does not count nor do integers occur in nature. Man made them all, integers and all the rest, Kronecker to the contrary notwithstanding.

Funny Oscar Wilde Quotes

2007-09-19T07:50:00.000+05:30

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

I can resist everything except temptation.

I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me.

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Funny Friendship Quotes and Sayings

2007-09-19T07:34:00.000+05:30

“You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.”
Funny Friendship Quotes by Harry S. Truman

“There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.”
Funny Friendship Quotes by Benjamin Franklin

“I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.”
Short Funny Quote about Friendship by Euripides

“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”
Funny Friendship Quotes by Clifton Fadiman

“When a woman like that whom I’ve seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man.”
Funny Friendship Quotes by Alice Duer Miller

“Be awfully nice to them going up, because you’re going to meet them all coming down.”
Funny Friendship Quotes by Jimmy Durante

“You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.”
Short Funny Quote about Friendship by Laurence J. Peter

“I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.”
Funny Friendship Quotes by Ann Richards

Funny Water Quotes and Sayings

2007-09-18T23:15:00.000+05:30

Water is elixir for life.

The great sea makes one a great sceptic.

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry.

What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.

The true peace of God begins at any spot a thousand miles from the nearest land.

Water is the only drink for a wise man.

Rivers are roads which move, and which carry us whither we desire to go.

The sea hath no king but God alone.

I hate water - fish fuck in it.

A lake carries you into recesses of feeling otherwise impenetrable.

The sea has never been friendly to man. At most it has been the accomplice of human restlessness.

A lake is the landscape’s most beautiful and expressive feature. It is earth’s eye; looking into which the beholder measures the depth of his own nature.

Funny Myspace Quotes and Sayings

2007-09-16T22:16:00.000+05:30

“A verbal contract isnt worth the paper its written on”

“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.”

“We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasnt met me yet.”

“The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.”

“We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.”

“I dont make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

“Its clearly a budget. Its got a lot of numbers in it.”

George Carlin Quotes

2007-09-16T22:11:00.000+05:30

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with
widely scattered light by morning.

I don’t have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

Funny Cat Quotes and Sayings

2007-09-12T08:28:00.000+05:30

Collection of Funny Cat Sayings and Quotes

A cat is a tiger that is fed by hand.

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.

God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of caressing the lion.

Every dog has his day - but the nights are reserved for the cats.

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

The cat was created when the lion sneezed.

I am as vigilant as a cat to steal cream.

The smart cat doesn’t let on that he is.

Some people have cats and go on to lead normal lives.

A meow massages the heart.

Dogs eat. Cats dine.

The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away.

cat pours his body on the floor like water.

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

So there are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat.

Funny Borat Quotes and Sayings

2007-05-08T17:07:00.000+05:30

Funny Borat Quotes Collection

“Kazakhstan is more civilised now. Women can now travel on inside of bus, and homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hat.”
Borat Funny Quotes by By Da Ali G Show.

“America national sport is called baseballs. It very similar to our sport, shurik, where we take dogs, shoot them in a field and then have a party.”
By Da Ali G Show.

“In U.S. and A. they treat horses like we in Kazakhstan treat our women. They feed them two times a day. They have them sleep on straw in a small box. And for entertainment, they make them jump over fences while being whipped.”

"Every Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp, some like to make the jam, but the most fun is to a kill a little animal with a shotgun or rip them up with wild dog."
Borat Funny Quotes by Da Ali G Show.

“There are many job opportunities in the US and of A. For men, construction worker, taxi driver or accountant. For woman, prostitute.”

“Hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards. And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq.”

“Throw the Jew down the well,
So my country can be free,
You must grab him by the horns,
Then we have a big party.”
Borat Funny Quotes by By Da Ali G Show.

“My wife, she is scared of men with chocolate face, there won’t be any around here?”
By Da Ali G Show.

Funny Irish Sayings and Quotes

2007-03-31T09:27:00.000+05:30

Huge collection of Funny Irish Quotes and Sayings

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me.

He who is not strong must needs be cunning.

If you are lucky enough to be Irish, then you are lucky enough.

May you both live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live.

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart ?

Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part.

A man is often a bad adviser to himself and a good adviser to another.

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.

May the blessings of each day be the blessings you need most.

Beauty suffers no pain.

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch.

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious.

You never miss the water till the well has run dry.

The longest road out is the shortest road home.

Remember even if you loose all, keep your good name; for if you loose that you are worthless.

The Irish are very fair people, they never speak well for one another.

Good laugh and long sleep are the best cures in a doctor's book.

May you get all your wishes but one so you always have something to strive for.

Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you.

Distant hills look green.

He is bad that will not take advice, but he is a thousand times worse that takes every advice.

A rainy day isn't a day for the children.

Only Irish coffee provides all main essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

May the Lord keep you in his hand and never close his fist too tight.

Funny Irish Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-31T09:25:00.000+05:30

Funny Irish Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

No man is an Ireland.

In dreams begins responsibility.

Irish Nobel Prize-winning poet

If the whole human race lay in one grave, the
epitaph on its headstone might well be: `It seemed
a good idea at the time.'

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how
tall your grandfather was.

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? You
don't want to press your luck.

May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!

You never miss the water till the well has run dry.

Half a loaf of bread is better than no bread at all.

Remember even if you loose all, keep your good name; for if you loose that you are worthless.

Saint Patrick was a gentleman...Who through
strategy and stealth...Drove all the snakes from
Ireland...Here's a drinkee to his health! But not
too many drinkees...Lest we lose ourselves and
then...Forget the good Saint Patrick...And see
them snakes again!

GOD KEEP MY JEWEL THIS DAY FROM DANGER
From tinker and pooka and black-hearted stranger
From harm of the water and hurt of the fire
From the horns of the cows going home to the byre
From teasing the ass when he's tied to the manger
From stones that would bruise and from thorns of the briar
From evil red berries that waken desire
From hunting the gander and vexing the goat
From depths o' seawater by Danny's old boat
From cut and from tumble --- from sickness and weeping
MAY GOD have my jewel this day in his keeping.

THE FIDDLER OF DOONEY
When I play on my fiddle in Dooney,
Folk dance like a wave of the sea;
My cousin is priest in Kilvarnet,
My brother in Moharubuiee.

I passed my brother and cousin,
They read in their books of prayer;
I read in my book of songs
I bought at the Sligo fair.

When we come at the end of time,
To Peter sitting in state,
He will smile on the three old spirits,
But call me first through the gate.

For the good are always the merry,
Save by an evil chance,
And the merry love the fiddle
And the merry love to dance;

And when the folk there spy me,
They will all come up to me,
With "Here is the fiddler of Dooney!"
And dance like a wave of the sea."

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold
onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off
the earth.

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to
find another Irishman to make a speech to.

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields
and, Until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full
moon on a dark night, and the road downhill all
the way to your door.

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures
in the doctor's book

In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced
to talk to God.

The most beautiful music of all is the music of
what happens.

When I realized what I had turned out to be was a
lousy, two-bit pool hustler and a drunk, I wasn't
depressed at all. I was glad to have a profession.

Irish Pool Player
I have never liked working. To me a job is an
invasion of privacy

Irish Pool Player
One of the worst things that can happen in life is
to win a bet on a horse at an early age.

Irish Pool Player
To please himself only the cat purrs.

May those who love us love us
And those who don't love us
May God turn their hearts,
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.

Funny Laws 1

2007-03-31T09:24:00.000+05:30

Funny Collection of Funny Laws

“The Law of Volunteering”If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

“The Law of Avoiding Oversell”When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

“The Law of Common Sense”Never accept a drink from a urologist.

“The Law of Reality”Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

“The Law of Self Sacrifice"When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

Funny Laws 2

2007-03-31T09:23:00.000+05:30

Collection of Funny Laws

Law of Drunkedness”You can’t fall off the floor.

“Heller’s Law”The first myth of management is that it exists.

“Osborne’s Law”Variables won’t; constants aren’t.

“Main’s Law”For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

“Weinberg’s Second Law”If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.

Old Funny Phrases Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-31T09:22:00.000+05:30

Old Funny Phrases Collection

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Funny Robin Williams Quotes

2007-03-31T09:21:00.000+05:30

Funny Robin Williams Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Here are some funny Robin Williams quotes. There are 14 quotes and all of them are funny, witty and great humour.

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose."

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."

"Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."

"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so . . . look at the platypus."

"God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."

"In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again.""

"We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities."

"If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days."

"Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”."

"People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House."

"My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins."

"I like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out."

"Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."

Funny Silly Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-31T09:17:00.000+05:30

Funny Silly Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

if barbie is so popular....then y do u have 2 buy her friends?

I intend to live forever- so far so good

Some say the glass is half empty, Some say the glass is half full, I say "are you gonna drink that?"

Iv got 2 sit down & work out where i stand!!!

Wen u smile the world smiles with u.wen ur down people will rally behind u.but wen u fart u r alone coz people will never stand by u!

people ask me if id pefer 2 go 2 hell or heaven i say hell coz its nice and warm down there

Im a nobody.. nobodys perfect.. therefore IM PERFECT!!!

I didnt kiss ur boyfriend! I told his lips a secret!!

I never met a chocolate I never liked!

lifes not short its the longest bloody fing ull ever do!!!!

I would stop eating chocolate.. but I'm not a quitter!

dont pee in my pool and i wont swim in your toliet!

Maturity is knowing when and where to be immature

"inside me, There's a thin women trying to get out........But i can usually shut the cow up with chocolate."

All of my friends and I are crazy.Thats what keeps us sane!

Funny Success Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-31T09:16:00.000+05:30

Funny Success Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.

The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by somebody else's rules, while quietly playing by your own.

Success is largely a matter of holding on after others have let go.

Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.

Some people dream of success while others wake up and work hard at it.

The best way to succeed in this world is to act on the advice you give to others.

Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket.

Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time.

Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.

The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.

A great leader's courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position.

Victory is sweetest when you've known defeat.

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Success is focusing the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve.

Success doesn't come to you?you go to it.

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes.

Success is not permanent. The same is also true of failure.

When a man is willing and eager, the gods join in.

Success is not a destination, it's a journey.

To succeed you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.

Funny Technology Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-31T09:14:00.000+05:30

Funny Technology Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau---

Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC.
-- Andy Grove---

Leaders have to act more quickly today. The pressure comes much faster.
-- Andy Grove---

Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame.
-- M. G. Siriam---

Microsoft is a bully. Microsoft is trying to hoodwink nontechnical people.
-- Stewart Alsop---

Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology.
-- Alan M. Eddison---

Once upon a time we were just plain people. But that was before we began having relationships with mechanical systems. Get involved with a machine and sooner or later you are reduced to a factor.
-- Ellen Goodman---

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
-- Elbert Hubbard---

There are three roads to ruin; women, and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with , but the surest is with technicians.
-- Georges Pompidou---

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
-- C. A. R. Hoare--

Microsoft is engaging in unlawful predatory practices that go well beyond the scope of fair competition.
-- Orrin Hatch--

There never was a chip, it is said, that Bill Gates couldn't slow down with a new batch of features.
-- James Coates---

Through the magic of motion pictures, someone who's never left Peoria knows the softness of a Paris spring, the color of a Nile sunset, the sorts of vegetation one will find along the upper Amazon and that Big Ben has not yet gone digital.
-- Vincent Canby---

Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems.
-- Linus Torvalds---

UNIVAC: a device, which contained 20,000 vacuum tubes, occupied 1,500 square feet and weighed 40 tons; there was also a laptop version weighing 27 tons.
-- Dave Barry---

URLs are the 800 numbers of the 1990's.
-- Chris Clark---

Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea - massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.
-- Gene Spafford---

We are the children of a technological age. We have found streamlined ways of doing much of our routine work. Printing is no longer the only way of reproducing books. Reading them, however, has not changed...
-- Lawrence Clark Powell---

We are there to serve our subscribers, not serve them up.
-- Claudia Caplan---

We will create a civilization of the Mind in Cyberspace. May it be more humane and fair than the world your governments have made before.
-- John Perry Barlow---

Funny Valentine Day Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-31T09:12:00.000+05:30

Funny Valentine Day Quotes Sayings

Draw a circle, not a heart, around the one you
love because a heart can break but a circle goes
on forever.

It takes more then lace and ribbons And lovely
verses too To make a Valentine thats nice enough
for you It takes a world of special thoughts
tucked into every line and thats exactly what
you'll find inside this valentine.

May this Valentine's Day be filled with love,
understanding, and contentment as you journey
through life with those you hold dear
- Darly Henerson -

It takes one eye opened to meet your true love,
but both eyes closed to keep them

Love is pulling together against all odds.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it
until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

When two people cannot see too much of each other
nor too little of other people, they`re in love .

Funny Wedding Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-31T09:11:00.000+05:30

Funny Wedding Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

In all of the wedding cake, hope is the sweetest of plums.

Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

My Greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.

She knows all about me and loves me just the same.

May she share everything with her husband, including the housework.

Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married.

It took great courage to ask a beautiful young woman to marry me. Believe me, it is easier to play the whole Petrushka on the piano.

An anniversary says, "Think of the dreams you have weathered together. They are intimate accomplishments.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.

Love is not singular except in syllable.

Funny Wedding Quotes

2007-03-31T09:07:00.000+05:30

Funny Wedding Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!

Live the life you've dreamed
------ Henry David Thoreau-------

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering...

Marriage - a book in which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.
--------Beverly Nichols------

The trouble with some woman is that they get all excited about nothing, and then marry him -
----- Cher------

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after.
----- Polish Proverb---

This day I will marry my friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love
-- Unknown---

Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one.
----- Friedrich Halm---

We sat side by side in the morning light
and looked out at the future together.
----- Brian Andres---

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
-- Jean Kerr---

Men make love more intensely at 20, but make love better, however, at 30 - Men make love more intensely at 20, but make love better, however, at 30 - Catherine II of Russia
-- Catherine II---

Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare---

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
-- Groucho Marx---

What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.
Mark 10:9
-- BIBLE---

Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly---

Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-31T00:40:00.000+05:30

Funny Men Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Men are easy to get but hard to keep.
- Mae West -

There are only two kinds of men - the dead and the deadly.
- Helen Rowland -

Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less.
- Susan B. Anthony -

Why are women ... so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
- Virginia Woolf -

Men weren't really the enemy -- they were fellow victims suffering from an
outmoded masculine mystique that made them feel unnecessarily inadequate
when there were no bears to kill.
- Betty Friedan -

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.
- Kathy Lette -

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one,
go ahead, get married.
- Katharine Hepburn -

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
- Gloria Steinem -

Funny Inspirational Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-29T17:26:00.001+05:30

Funny Inspirational Quotes , Inspirational Sayings & Quotations Collection

The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given
it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not and never
persist in trying to set people right.
--Hannah Whitall Smith, Inspirational author --

The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see, and knows what the mind cannot understand.
-- Robert Vallett --

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt --

In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.
-- Deepak Chopra --

When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them,
but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.
-- Leo Burnett --

What lies behind us and what lies before us are
small matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.
- Robert Louis Stevenson -

Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools.

If you're going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill -

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- -Ralph Waldo Emerson --

Reading Inspirational and Motivational Quotes daily is like taking my vitamins.
--Rosie Cash --

The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind.
-- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer --

Man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning --

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
-- Mahatma Gandhi --

We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival.
-- Sir Winston Churchill --

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that,
but the really great ones make you feel that you too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain --

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a Heaven for?
-- Robert Browning --

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
-- Erin Majors --

The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring.
-- Bern Williams --

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.
-- Henry David Thoreau --

Hope is the companion of power and the mother of success,
For those of us who hope strongest have within us the gift of miracles.
-- Sydney Bremer --

Funny Life Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-29T17:10:00.001+05:30

Funny Life Quotes , Life Sayings & Quotations Collection

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
-- Mahatma Gandhi --

Life is not a static thing.
The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums,
and those in cemeteries.
- Everett McKinley Dirksen -

Parents learn a lot from their children about coping with life.
- Muriel Spark -

There is properly no history; only biography.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love
the questions themselves. Live the questions now.
Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it,
live along some distant day into the answer.
- Rainer Maria Rilke -

True, we love life, not because we are used to living,
but because we are used to loving. There is always some madness in love,
but there is also always some reason in madness
- Friedrich Nietzsche -

Biography is the only true history.
- Thomas Carlyle -

Every life has a story.
- A&E Biography -

If you don't know [your family's] history, then you don't know anything.
You are a leaf that doesn't know it is part of a tree.
- Michael Chrichton -

Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard -

Just as a tree without roots is dead, a people without history or culture also becomes a dead people.
- Malcolm X --

You are the same today that you are going to be five years from now except for two things:
the people with whom you associate and the books you read.
-- Charles Jones --

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I am with you kid Let's go!'
-- Maya Angelou --

The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes,
flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you.
Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes,
certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson --

Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death.
-- Kahlil Gibran --

You should always learn, with life comes wisdom and with wisdom comes the courage
to live your life selflessly. The more you learn about yourself and the experiences
surrounding your life the more opportunities you have to make your life better and more fulfilling.
--Amy Candy -

Read no history: nothing but biography, for that is life without theory.
-- Benjamin Disraeli --

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.
-- Leo Buscaglia --

We are the hero of our own story.
-- Mary McCarthy --

There are three ingredients to the good life; learning, earning, and yearning.
-- Christopher Morley --

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
-- Elbert Hubbard --

Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.
-- Kahlil Gibran --

Life is what happens to you while you're working for your future.

Life is pain, princess. . . anyone who says differently is selling something
-- Wesley The Princess Bride --

All stories teach us something, and promise us something,
whether they're true or invented, legend or fact
--- Stewart O'Nan --

History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
- Sir Winston Churchill

Love absolutely everything that ever happens in your life
-- Paul Cantalupo, MD --

Many of life's circumstances are created by three basic choices:
the disciplines you choose to keep, the people you choose to be with;
and, the laws you choose to obey.
- Charles Millhuff -

You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.
- Joe Lewis -

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein -

Ars Longa, Vita Brevis - Art (is) Long, Life (is) Short
-- Hippocrates --

How could there be any question of acquiring or possessing,
when the one thing needful for a man is to become --
to be at last, and to die in the fullness of his being.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery -

The notion of looking on at life has always been hateful to me.
What am I if I am not a participant? In order to be, I must participate.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery -

You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possibly be - in baseball and in life.
- Pete Rose -

Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.
- Auntie Mame, by Patrick Dennis -

When people search for "Life Quotes" they are often looking for quotes about life.
Why do the major search engines only give them hundreds of pages of
commercial garbage about Life Insurance Quotes?
--Bill Austin --

And did you get what you wanted in this life even so?
I did And what is it you wanted?
To call myself beloved To feel myself beloved on the earth.
- Raymond Carver -

Don't sacrifice your life to work and ideals.
The most important things in life are human relations.
I found that out too late.
- Katharinde Susannah Prichard Australian Author -

Funny Love Sayings and Quotes

2007-03-29T17:07:00.001+05:30

Funny Love Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it
-- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. --

And think not, you can direct the course of love; for love,
if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
-- Khalil Gibran --

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world.
It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down
remorselessly all that stands in its path
-- Agatha Christie --

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
-- Henry Ward Beecher --

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
-- Plato --

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.
-- Leo Buscaglia --

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
-- Elbert Hubbard --

Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.
-- Kahlil Gibran --

In jealousy there is more of self-love than love
-- Francois De La Rochefoucauld --

Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive
-- Havelock Ellis --

What we love to do we find time to do.
-- John L. Spalding --

An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley --

There's nothing in this world so sweet as love,
And next to love the sweetest thing is hate.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow --

You come to love not by finding the perfect person,
but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
--Sam Keen --

An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life
as a act of love that succeeds, for love is measured by fullness,
not by reception
--Harold Loukes --

It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship
and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity
and unless that affinity is created in a moment,
it will not be created for years or even generations
--Kahlil Gib --

Love is a gift of one's inner most soul to another so both can be whole
--Tea Rose --

Love sought is good, but given unsought is better
--William Shakespeare --

Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies.
--John Donne --

Say what you will, 'tis better to be left than never to have been loved.
-- William Congreve --

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear
bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal--

Give love and unconditional acceptance to those you encounter,
and notice what happens.
--Dr. Wayne W. Dyer --

The most difficult thing that you can do is to
watch the person you love love someone else.

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
- Benjamin Franklin-

To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind.
--Theophile Gantier --

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls
--Mother Teresa --

Enjoy here : Love Graphics and Comments

Funny Love Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-29T17:05:00.000+05:30

Funny Love Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties
- Jule Renard -

Falling in love is like being struck by lightning.
You can no more make it strike you than you can avoid it.
- Indy -

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts,
then there is no hurt, but only more love.
- Mother Teresa -

This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love;
the more they give, the more they possess
- Rainer Maria Rilke -

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes just be an illusion.
- Javan -

Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble and attempts
what is above its strength.
- Thomas A Kempis -

No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved.
- Mignon McLaughlin -

Funny Love Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-29T16:47:00.000+05:30

Funny Love Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection

He who wants to do good knocks at the gate:
he who loves finds the door open.
--Rabrindranath Tagore --

Sometimes I find myself making love to my own misfortune.
--Norma O. Abrego --

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
--Charles Caleb Colton --

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the
imagination and bottling the common sense.
--Helen Rowland --

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
--Mother Teresa --

One advantage of marriage It seems to me
Is that when you fall out of love with him
Or he falls out of love with you
It keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.
--Judith Viorst --

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination
nor both together go to the making of genius.
Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
--Mozart --

Love teaches even asses to dance.
--French Proverb --

Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!

To infinite, ever present Love, all is Love,
and there is no error, no sin sickness, nor death.
--Mary Baker Eddy --

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
--Charles Caleb Colton --

Sometimes I find myself making love to my own misfortune.
--Norma O. Abrego --

Put love first. Entertain thoughts that give life
And when a thought or resentment, or hurt, or fear
comes your way, have another thought that is more powerful
-- a thought that is love.
--Mary Manin Morrissey --

We must love one another or die
--W.H. Auden poem --

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
--Walt Disney --

Never sign a valentine with your own name.
--Charles Dickens --

Love: Two minds without a single thought.
--Philip Barry --

The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
--Lucy Van Pelt --

Where does the family start ? It starts with a young man
falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found.
--Sir Winston Churchill --

Platonic love is like an inactive volcano.
--Andre Pevost --

If the universe has any purpose more important than
topping a woman you love and making a baby with her
hearty help, I have never heard of it.
--Rabert A. Henlein Lazarus Long --

Christianity has done a great deal for love by making a sin of it.
--Anatole France --

It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing.
It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.
--Mother Teresa --

Funny Engineering Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-28T18:28:00.000+05:30

Engineering Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
- Douglas Adams -

“The road to success is always under construction”
Get it right….CIVIL ENGINEERS
A bridge is built for us to pass over; it is a work of utility, and which should endure. It should be in keeping with its object, solid, clean, simple, well executed without vain ornament.
- Paul Sejourne -

Aeroplanes are not designed by science, but by art in spite of some pretence and humbug to the contrary. I do not mean to suggest that engineering can do without science, on the contrary, it stands on scientific foundations, but there is a big gap between scientific research and the engineering product which has to be bridged by the art of the engineer.
- Walter G Vincenti -

A good scientist is a person with original ideas. A good engineer is a person who makes a design that works with as few original ideas as possible
- Freeman Dyson-

A great bridge is a great monument which should serve to make known the splendour and genius of a nation; one should not occupy oneself with efforts to perfect it architecturally, for taste is always susceptible to change, but to conserve always in its form and decoration the character of solidity which is proper.
- Jean Peronnet-

An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant.
- An Arts graduate's view of engineers-

An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet.
- Anon-

Another places upon his nose a pair of paper or wooden spectacles; he performs the duty of engineer, comes, goes, makes a plan, looks at the workmen, draws lines, plays the pedant, cries that everything is being ruined, causes the work to be abandoned and resumed at his will, and directs it at great length and as absurdly as possible.this character is termed the geometer, and he does his best to make himself unendurable to those who wield the spade and pickaxe.
- George Sand -

Architects and engineers are among the most fortunate of men since they build their own monuments with public consent, public approval and often public money.
- John Prebble -

A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to fit any data.
- Phillip Johnson-Laird -

But even experimental scientists today, despite Einstein and Darwin, seem loath to abandon the search for an eternal changeless unhistorical reality of which pure mathematics could be the model
- Gordon Childe -

Electronic calculators can solve problems which the man who made them cannot solve; but no government subsidised commission of engineers and physicists could create a worm.
- Joseph Wood Krutch

Engineering is the art of modelling materials we do not wholly understand, into shapes we cannot precisely analyse so as to withstand forces we cannot properly assess, in such a way that the public has no reason to suspect the extent of our ignorance.
- Dr AR Dykes -

Engineering problems are under-defined, there are many solutions, good, bad and indifferent. The art is to arrive at a good solution. This is a creative activity, involving imagination, intuition and deliberate choice.
- Ove Arup -

Engineering refers to the practice of organizing the design and construction [and, I would add operation] of any artifice which transforms the physical world around us to meet some recognized need.
- GFC Rogers -

Engineering ... to define rudely but not inaptly, is the art of doing that well with one dollar, which any bungler can do with two after a fashion.
- Arthur Mellen Wellington -

Engineers ... are not mere technicians and should not approve or lend their name to any project that does not promise to be beneficent to man and the advancement of civilization
- John Fowler -

Engineers ... are not superhuman. They make mistakes in their assumptions, in their calculations, in their conclusions. That they make mistakes is forgivable; that they catch them is imperative. Thus it is the essence of modern engineering not only to be able to check one's own work but also to have one's work checked and to be able to check the work of others.
- Henry Petroski -

To Engineer Is Human. Engineers Creed

I am an Engineer
I serve mankind
by making dreams come true.
- Anon -

Experience serves not only to confirm theory, but differs from it without disturbing it, it leads to new truths which theory only has not been able to reach.
- Dalembert -

For 'tis the sport to have the engineer
Hoist with his own petar; and't shall go hard
But I will delve one yard below their mines
And blow them at the moon.
- William Shakespeare -

From the laying out of a line of a tunnel to its final completion, the work may be either a series of experiments made at the expense of the proprietors of the project, or a series of judicious applications of the results of previous experience.
- HS Drinker -

Go for civil engineering, because civil engineering is the branch of engineering which teaches you the most about managing people. Managing people is a skill which is very, very useful and applies almost regardless of what you do.
- Sir John Harvey Jones -

He ... insists that no mathematical formula, however exact it may appear to be, can be of greater accuracy than the assumptions on which it is based, and he draws the conclusion that experience still remains the great teacher and final judge.
- James Kip Finch -

He was living like an engineer in a mechanical world. No wonder he had become dry as a stone.
- Simone de Beauvoir -

His father loved him dearly, but his work, that of a civil engineer, had left him with but little time for his family. Energetic, active, and always taken up with some responsible work, he did not spoil his children with excessive tenderness.
- Mme Estafavia -

How could you do anything so vicious?
It was easy my dear, don't forget I spent two years as a building contractor.
- Priscilla Presley & Ricardo Montalban -

I am an old man now, and when I die and go to Heaven there are two matters on which I hope for enlightement. One is quantum electrodynamics and the other is the turbulent motion of fluids. And about the former I am rather more optimistic.
- Sir Horace Lamb -

[I am] opposed to the laying down of rules or conditions to be observed in the construction of bridges lest the progress of improvement tomorrow might be embarrassed or shackled by recording or registering as law the prejudices or errors of today.
- Isambard Kingdom Brunel -

If a builder builds a house for a man and does not make its construction firm and the house collapses and causes the death of the owner of the house - that builder shall be put to death. If it destroys property, he shall restore whatever it destroyed, and because he did not make the house firm he shall rebuild the house which collapsed at his own expense. If a builder builds a house for a man and does not make its construction meet the requirement and a wall falls - that builder shall strengthen the wall at his own expense.
- The Code of Hammurabi, c. 2250 BC -

Improvement makes strait roads: but the crooked roads without Improvement are roads of Genius.
- William Blake -

I'm the chap who builds motorways through places like Twyford Down and when people complain I say f... off.
- Sam Small -

In my intercourse with mankind, I have always found those who would thrust theory into practical matters to be, at bottom, men of no judgement and pure quacks.
- John Smeaton -

In practical work he can be ingenious with regard to modifying apparatus; he uses engineering rather than imagination.

In free society art is not a weapon.... Artists are not engineers of the soul.
- President John F Kennedy -

I sell here, Sir, what all the world desires to have - power.
- Matthew Boulton (British Engineer) -

It takes an engineer to undertake the training of an engineer and not, as often happens, a theoretical engineer who is clever on a blackboard with mathematical formulae but useless as far as production is concerned.
- The Rev EB Evans -

Let him not be grasping nor have his mind preoccupied with ... receiving perquisites, but let him with dignity keep up his position by establishing a good reputation. No work can be rightly done without honesty and incorruptibility.
- Vitruvius -

"Mach 2 travel feels no different." a passenger commented on an early Concorde flight. "Yes," Sir George replied. "That was the difficult bit."
- Sir George Edwards -

Mary, I know what I'm gonna do tomorrow, and the next day, and next year, and the year after that. I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my shoes and I'm gonna see the world! ... Then I'm gonna come back home and go to college and see what they know, and then I'm gonna build things. I'm gonna build airfields, I'm gonna build skyscrapers a hundred storeys high, I'm gonna build bridges a mile long!
- James Stewart -

Men build bridges and throw railroads across deserts, and yet they contend successfully that the job of sewing on a button is beyond them. Accordingly, they don't have to sew buttons.
- Heywood Broun -

No greater care is required upon any works than upon such as are to withstand the action of water; for this reason, all parts of the work need to be done exactly according to the rules of the art which all workmen know, but few observe.
- Sextus Julius Frontinus -

Nor aught availed him now
To have built in heaven high towers; nor did he scape
By all his engines, but was headlong sent
With his industrious crew to build in hell.
- John Milton -

Nothing can be of great worth or holy which is the work of builders and mechanics.
- Zeno, Stoic Philosopher -

Nothing is so inspiring as seeing big works well laid out and planned and a real engineering organisation.
- Frederick Handley Page -

No village or man shall be forced to build bridges at river banks, except those who ought to do so by custom and law.

Oh! Ill fated bridge of the Silv'ry Tay,
I must now conclude my lay,
By telling the world fearlessly and without the least dismay,
That your central girders would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less the chance of us being killed.
- William McGonagall -

One has to watch out for engineers - they begin with the sewing machine and end up with the atomic bomb.
- Marcel Pagnol -

Phases of a Project:
1 -- Exultation
2 -- Disenchantment
3 -- Search for the Guilty
4 -- Punishment of the Innocent
5 -- Praise for the Uninvolved
- Anon -

Philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways, but the real task is to alter it.
- Karl Marx -

Pure scientists have by and large been dim-witted about engineers and applied science. They couldn't get interested. They wouldn't recognise that many of the problems were as intellectually exacting as pure problems, and that many of the solutions were as satisfying and beautiful. Their instinct - perhaps sharpened in this country by the passion to find a new snobbism wherever possible, and to invent one if it doesn't exist - was to take it for granted that applied science was an occupation for second rate minds. I say this more sharply because thirty years ago I took precisely that line myself.
- CP Snow -

Rise thou prostrate Ingineer, not all thy undermining Skill shall reach my Heart.
- George Farquhar -

So far I have been speaking of theoretical science, which is an attempt to understand the world. Practical science, which is an attempt to change the world, has been important from the first, and has continually increased in importance, until it has almost ousted theoretical science from men's thoughts. ... The triumph of science has been mainly due to its practical utility, and there has been an attempt to divorce this aspect from that of theory, thus making science more and more a technique, and less and less a doctrine as to the nature of the world. The penetration of this point of view to philosophers is very recent.
- Bertrand Russell -

Tell me, Mr Hoover, what are your interests?
Madam, I am an Engineer
Really? I took you for a gentleman.
- Herbert Hoover -

...(that) any general system of conveying passengers would ... go at a velocity exceeding ten miles an hour, or thereabouts, is extremely improbable.
- Railway engineer Thomas Tredgold, 1835 -

That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.
- Neal Armstrong -

The contractors do not hesitate to enrich themselves at the expense of the King or of those who work for them; & the engineers or inspectors of the works, on the contrary, have only in mind the honesty with which they act and to be highly esteemed; & they do not hesitate to regard the former as their enemies, when they are unfaithful.
- Hubert Gautier -

The history of engineering is really the history of breakages, and of learning from those breakages. I was taught at college 'the engineer learns most on the scrapheap'.
- CA Claremont -

The joy of engineering is to find a straight line on a double logarithmic diagram.
- Thomas Koenig -

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.
- Douglas Adams -

The means by which we live has outdistanced the ends for which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King Jr -

The newly placed earth of the Road is not immediately to be compacted, as some will claim. Two or three months of time, some rain, and those who pass over the Road better assure this than if we compact with women and girls for many days; this is an unnecessary expense for the contractor.
- Hubert Gautier -

The words art, artisan, and artificial all come from the Latin word ars, and reinforce the notion that beauty and utility have been inextricably linked. The jazz musician Duke Ellington is believed to have said that if any music sounds good, it is good. The beauty of utility goes back at least as far as the flint axe and is as contemporary as the supersonic Concorde.
- Carroll Pursell -

There are three possible roads to ruin - women, gambling and technology. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technology.
- Georges Pompidou -

There can be little doubt that in many ways the story of bridge building is the story of civilisation. By it we can readily measure an important part of a people's progress.
- Franklin D Roosevelt -

Therefore O students study mathematics and do not build without foundations.
- Leonardo Da Vinci -

...as for earthquakes, though they were still formidable, they were so interesting that men of science could hardly regret them.
- Bertrand Russell -

This is not the age of pamphleteers. It is the age of engineers. The spark-gap is mightier than the pen. Democracy will not be salvaged by men who talk fluently, debate forcefully and quote aptly.
- Lancelot Hogben -

Very nice sort of place, Oxford, I should think, for people that like that sort of place. They teach you to be a gentleman there. In the Polytechnic they teach you to be an engineer or such like.
- George Bernard Shaw -

We shape our buildings, thereafter they shape us.
- Winston Churchill -

We were shepherded in for our first lecture on engineering drawing in a studio on the top floor of a building in Shakespeare Street. There we were confronted by the lecturer, a Mr Rawlinson, an elderly gentleman with a nicotine stained moustache. He looked around the room at us and then said, "I know you lot. Your parents said, 'Our Jim's not very bright in the head but he's good with his hands, so we'll make him an engineer'."
- Frank Vann -

Well if you ever plan to motor west
Try take my way on the highway that's the best
Get your kicks on Route 66
- Bobby Troup -

What need the bridge much broader than the flood?
- William Shakespeare -

When engineers and quantity surveyors discuss aesthetics and architects study what cranes do we are on the right road.
- Ove Arup 1980 --

Whilst surveying what do you think I did? - only what others have done - fell in love!

You have been found guilty of indulging in unnatural practices under one of London's most beautiful bridges.

Funny Engineering Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-28T18:25:00.000+05:30

Funny Engineering Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a
knight in shining armor to lead all his customers
out of a mire of technological chaos neatly
ignores the fact that it was he who by peddling
second-hand, second-rate technology, led them all
into it in the first place.

It has become appallingly obvious that our
technology has exceeded our humanity ..

Programming today is a race between software
engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the
Universe is winning.

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist:
The glass is half empty. Re-engineering
Consultant: That glass is twice as large as it
needs to be.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is
indistinguishable from magic.

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets
dark, you don't throwaway the ticket and jump off.
You sit still and trust the engineer.

If email had been around before the telephone was
invented, people would have said, "Hey, forget
email! With this new telephone invention I can
actually talk to people!"

The good news: Computers allow us to work 100%
faster. The bad news: They generate 300% more
work.

Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "That glass is twice as large as it
needs to be."

Programming today is a race between software
engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the
Universe is winning.

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If
your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.

The first 90 percent of the code accounts for the
first 90 percent of the development time...The
remaining 10 percent of the code accounts for the
other 90 percent of the development time.

Funeral - Death Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-28T18:19:00.000+05:30

It is foolish to be afraid of death. JUST THINK!!
No more repaired tires on the body vehicle,
no more patchwork living.

Do not take thought for your persons or your properties,
but first and chiefly to care about the greatest improvement of the soul.
I tell you that the virtue is not given by money, but that from vitue
come money and every other good of man, public as well as private...
The difficulty, my friends, is not in avoiding death, but in
avoiding unrighteousness; for that runs faster than death.

Death row is a state of mind.

A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn;
it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death
by a frown on the right person's brow.

Make sure to send a lazy man the angel of death.

Death borders upon our birth, and our cradle stands in the grave.
Our birth is nothing but our death begun.

It's a phony issue. To pretend the death penalty is going to end crime
in the United States is to fool people, to promote public ignorance.

For life in the present there is no death. Death is not an event in life.
It is not a fact in the world.

To infinite, ever present Love, all is Love, and there is no error,
no sin sickness, nor death.

I only remember two kisses - the first and the last.
The first, with my love and the last, with death.
The first brought happiness and the last relief!

I would rather live and love where death is king
than have eternal life where love is not

It is not "anti-choice" and "pro-choice" it is "pro-life" and "pro-death".

Born free, taxed to death.

Nothing is certain but death and taxes. Of the two, taxes happen annually.

The only people helped by the death tax are lawyers, accountants, and IRS agents.

No taxation without respiration.

Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile initially scared me to death.

Death Valley is neither dead nor a valley.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Nothing makes a man more aware of his capabilities and of his limitations
than those moments when he must push aside all the familiar defenses of
ego and vanity, and accept reality by staring, with the fear that
is normal to a man in combat, into the face of Death.

Om Asatoma Sadgamaya
Tamasoma Jyoti Gamaya
Myrityoma Amritam Gamaya

From delusion lead me to Truth
From darkness lead me to Light
From death lead me to eternal life.

The valley we call Death, isn't really that different from much
of the rest of the desert West. It's just a little deeper, a little hotter
and a little drier. What sets it apart more than anything else is the mind's eye.

Dying seems less sad than having lived too little.

Death? Why this fuss about death? Use your imagination, try to
visualize a world without death! . . .
Death is the essential condition of life, not an evil.

I am become Death, shatterer of worlds.

Men fear death, as children fear to go in the dark; and as that
natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other.

Even at our birth, death does but stand aside a little.
And every day he looks towards us and muses somewhat to himself
whether that day or the next he will draw nigh.

I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived

Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short,
but when we have had our swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit,
and our swelter of heat we say we have had our day

I said to Life, I would hear Death speak. And Life raised her voice
a little higher and said, You hear him now.

Birth and Death are the two noblest expressions of bravery.

Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death.

Fear not death, for the sooner we die the longer we shall be immortal.

A man is not completely born until he is dead.

What we commonly call death does not destroy the body,
it only causes a separation of spirit and body.

Is death the last sleep? No--it is the last and final awakening.

Death is the most beautiful adventure in life.

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.

Life is eternal and love is immortal; And death is only a horizon,
And a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.

To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life;
foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.

Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

A person who chooses to die or to risk death demonstrates that there are values,
principles, maxims, that are more valuable to him than is life itself.
In short, he places his immortal self above his mortal self.
Nothing goes by luck in composition. It allows of no tricks.
The best you can write will be the best you are.

Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death

Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.

It's not catastrophes, murders, deaths, diseases, that age and kill us;
it's the way people look and laugh, and run up the steps of omnibuses.

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.

I expose slavery in this country, because to expose it is to kill it.
Slavery is one of those monsters of darkness to whom the light of truth is death.

I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me death.

We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination,
fed upon illusion and put to death by reality.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.
I want to achieve it through not dying

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

We must love one another or die

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make,
who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic

One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.

We all labor against our own cure, for death is the cure of all diseases.

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man
who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.

One owes respect to the living; but to the dead one owes nothing but the truth.

If I think more about death than some other people,
it is probably because I love life more than they do.

Fear; if allowed free rein, would reduce all of us to trembling shadows of men,
for whom only death could bring release

When the body sinks into death, the essence of man is revealed.
Man is a knot, a web, a mesh into which relationships are tied.
Only those relationships matter. The body is an old crock that nobody will miss.
I have never known a man to think of himself when dying. Never.

The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.

There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.

Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes

Will the Black Death return?
Dread of this horrible epidemic is a dim memory confined to history books.
But antibiotic-resistant plague is alive and well.
and if it is used as a weapon, no one will be safe.

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have
done for others and the world remains and is immortal.

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come.

Be of good cheer about death and know this as a truth
that no evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death.

For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come.

I have died many a death in love, and yet, had I not loved I would never have lived at all.

Death certificates in the US over represent coronary heart disease as a
cause of death by 24.3 per cent ...

"Accuracy of death certificates for coding coronary heart disease as the cause of death."

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you
is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.

Death is well understood,it's life that isn't.

Death Quotes

2007-03-28T18:16:00.000+05:30

Funny Death Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection
For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

People living deeply have no fear of death.

Death is more universal than life, everyone dies but not everyone lives.

Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

We must love one another or die.

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it.

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Funny Birthday Sayings and Quotes

2007-03-28T18:13:00.000+05:30

Funny Birthday Sayings Quotes & Quotations Collection
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday".

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

Today is the yesterday you worried about tomorrow.

From our birthday, until we die, Is but the winking of an eye.

May you live all the days of your life.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of 'you' to the world.

Hope your Birthday gently breezes into your life all the choicest of things and all that your heart holds dear Have A Fun- Filled Day.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Youth is a disease from which we all recover.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.

Funny Birth Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-27T21:50:00.000+05:30

Funny Birth Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

We are always the same age inside.
--Gertrude Stein --

The heyday of woman's life is the shady side of fifty.
--Elizabeth Cady Stanton --

Thirty, thirty-five, forty, all had come to visit her like admonitory relatives, and all had slipped away without a trace, without a sound, and now, once again, she was waiting.
--Evan S. Connell --

I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred.
--Thomas Alva Edison --

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.
--French proverb --

At twenty years of age, the will reigns; at thirty, the wit; and at forty, the judgement.
--Benjamin Franklin --

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
--Reverend Larry Lorenzoni --

Every ten years a man should give himself a good kick in the pants.
--Edward Steichen--

If only I may grow: firmer, simpler, quieter, warmer.
--Dag Hammarskjold --

Youth has no age.
--Pablo Picasso --

The advantage of being eighty years old is that one has had many people to love.
--Jean Renoir --

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
--John Glenn --

Those whom the gods love grow young.
--Oscar Wilde --

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it.
--Doris Day --

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
--Bob Hope--

Funny Bible Quotes Sayings and Quotations

2007-03-27T21:48:00.000+05:30

Funny Bible Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellers there is safety.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and never succeed.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

Wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things.

He that has pity on the poor lends to the Lord.

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.

The truth shall make you free.

May you live all the days of your life.

But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night.

In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

Funny Best Friend Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-27T21:44:00.000+05:30

Funny Best Friend Sayings Quotes and Quotations Collection

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walk out.

A best friend shares the good times and help you out by listening during the bad times.

One's best friend is oneself.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Never explain yourself. Your friends don?t need it and your enemies won?t believe it.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.

There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends.

One who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

A friend is a gift one give oneself.

My best friend is the someone who brings out the best of me.

The medicine of life is to have true faithful friends.

A best friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself.

Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

The best mirror in the world is an old friend.

A true friend is someone you can disagree with and still remain friends.If not, they weren't true friends in the first place.

A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.

True friends are very difficult to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget.

A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Hold a true friend with both your hands.

When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you.

A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked.

Thick and thin, tall and small, fast and slow. Tell me who is always there for you. I am sure you know. Your best friend, of course, don't let him or her go

Funny Beauty Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-27T07:32:00.000+05:30

Beauty lies in the specific looks of a person, rather than the object, because different people feel beauty in differnt things.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.

For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it.

Poetry lifts the veil from the hidden beauty of the world, and makes familiar objects be as if they were not familiar."

Beauty is one of the rare things that do not lead to doubt of God.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want?an adorable pancreas ?

It is not sufficient to see and to know the beauty of a work. We must feel and be affected by it

Beauty seen is never lost, God's colors all are fast.

When a woman isn't beautiful, people tell her : You have lovely eyes, you have lovely hair.

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.

Beauty is not real. Beauty only exists in perception.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Beauty Parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

The beauty of male has not yet been portrayed by the only one who can do so-the female.

By plucking her petals, You do not gather the beauty of the flower.

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

She was a beauty in her youth a fact which she alone remembers.

Funny Beauty Sayings and Quotes

2007-03-27T07:30:00.000+05:30

Funny Beauty Sayings Quotes and Quotations Collection

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
- Anne Frank -

If you're considered a beauty, it's hard to be accepted
doing anything but standing around.
- Cybil Shepard -

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
- Anonymous -

The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure
one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them,
but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.
- Aristotle -

As a white candle In a holy place, So is the beauty Of an aged face.
- Joseph Campbell -

The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are
permitted to remain children all our lives.
- Albert Einstein -

The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty
than logician or theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise
- George Santayana (1863-1952)-

Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on Simplicity
- Plato -

You are to gather up the joys and sorrows, the struggles, the beauty,
love, dreams and hopes of every hour that they may be consecrated
at the altar of daily life.
- MacRina Wiederkehr -

Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see Beauty.
Anyone who keeps the ability to see Beauty never grows old.
- Frank Kafka -

The ever-present phenomenon ceases to exist for our senses.
It was a city dweller, or a prisoner, or a blind man suddenly given his sight,
who first noted natural beauty.
- Remy de Gourmont -

Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that
stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness
that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow delightful
conditions, all heavenly environment; of these if you but remain
true to them, your world will at last be built
- James Allen -

Beauty Parlor: A place where women curl up and dye
- Aiken Drum -

I don't think of all the misery, but of all the beauty that remains.
- Anne Frank -

People are like stained glass windows -- the true beauty can be seen only when
there is light from within. The darker the night, the brighter the windows
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross -

Beauty is in the eye of it's beholder.
- Unknown -

Remember how in that communion only, beholding beauty with the eye of the mind,
he will be enabled to bring forth, not images of beauty, but reality
(for he has hold not of an image but of a reality),
and bringing forth and nourishing true virtue to become the friend of God
and be immortal, if mortal man may.
- Plato -

Beauty is one of the rare things that do not lead to doubt of God.
- Jean Anouilh -

Anything in any way beautiful derives its beauty from itself and
asks nothing beyond itself.
Praise is no part of it, for nothing is made worse or better by praise.
- Marcus Aurelius -

We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts;
which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things;
which is the mean of many extremes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

There is certainly no absolute standard of beauty.
That precisely is what makes its pursuit so interesting.
- John Kenneth Galbraith -

A thing of beauty is a joy forever: Its loveliness increases;
it will never pass into nothingness.
- John Keats -

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep.
That's deep enough. What do you want--an adorable pancreas?
- Jean Kerr -

The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief
that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul
shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility,
you are not attractive--you are leaking.
- Fran Lebowitz -

Beauty is an ecstasy; it is as simple as hunger.
There is really nothing to be said about it.
It is like the perfume of a rose: you can smell it and that is all
- W. Somerset Maugham -

Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development,
invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears.
- Edgar Allen Poe -

The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty, even one's own--even more,
one's own, for that has been put in our care and we are responsible for its well-being
- Katherine Anne Porter -

Beauty deprived of its proper foils and adjuncts ceases to be enjoyed as beauty,
just as light deprived of all shadows ceases to be enjoyed as light.
- John Ruskin -

The beauty that addresses itself to the eyes is only the
spell of the moment the eye of the body is not always that of the soul
- George Sand -

To me, fair friend, you never can be old For as you were when
first your eye I eyed, Such seems your beauty still.
- William Shakespeare -

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it
when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw -

It is not sufficient to see and to know the beauty of a work.
We must feel and be affected by it.
- Voltaire [Francois-Marie Arouet] -

Beauty seen is never lost, God's colors all are fast.
- John Greenleaf Whittier -

She was a beauty in her youth a fact which she alone remembers
- Benjamin Constant -

The beauty of male has not yet been portrayed by the only one who can do so-the female
- G. C. Lichtenberg -

Beauty is only skin deep, but it`s a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense
- Kin Hubbard -

By plucking her petals, You do not gather the beauty of the flower.
- Rabindrath Tagore -

Walk on a rainbow trail; walk on a trail of song, and all about you will be beauty.
There is a way out of every dark mist, over a rainbow trail.
- Navajo Song -

Lord of the far horizons, Give us the eyes to see
Over the verge of the sundown The beauty that is to be.
- Bliss Carman (1861-1929) Canadian poet, author -

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
- Franz Kafka -

Practice random beauty and senseless acts of love.
- Anonymous -

I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.
Show them all the beauty they possess inside.
- (Whitney Houston) --"The Greatest Love of All."
-Written by Michael Masser and Linda McCreed for George Benson -

Take back the beauty and wit you bestow upon me; leave me my own mediocrity
of agreeableness and genius, but leave me also my sincerity, my constancy,
and my plain dealing; 'tis all I have to recommend me to the
esteem either of others or myself.
- Mary Wortley Montagu (1689-1762) English author -

Beauty in things exists in the mind which contemplates them.
- David Hume -

Compliments invite the person who is complimented to embrace a new
perception of him or herself. And just as layers and layers of nacre form a pearl
over an irritating grain of sand, so compliments collect around us,
developing us in all our beauty.
- Daphne Rose Kingma-

Beauty fades . . . dumb is forever.
- Judge Judy -

Far away in the sunshine are my highest inspirations. I may not reach them,
but I can look up and see the beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott -

To dream anything that you want to dream, that is the beauty of the human mind.
To do anything that you want to do, that is the strength of the human will.
To trust yourself, to test your limits, that is the courage to succeed.
- Bernard Edmonds -

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
- Unknown -

May the sun bring you new energies by day, may the moon softly restore you by night,
may the rain wash away any worries you may have. May gentle breezes refresh your soul
and all the days of your life, may you walk gently through the world and know its beauty.
- Unknown -

I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship.
I see your beauty. I hear your need. I feel your feelings
My wisdom flows from the Highest Source. I salute that Source in you.
Let us work together for unity and love.
- Mahatma Gandhi -

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt -

What ever beauty may be, it has for its basis order, and for its essence unity. -
- Father Andre-

Funny Baby Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-27T07:16:00.000+05:30

Funny Baby Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

A new baby is like the beginning of all things, hope, a dream of possibilities.

A baby is an angel whose wings decrease while his legs increase.

Children reinvent your world for you.

A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race.

A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.

A baby is born with the need to be love and never outgrows it.

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.

The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.

Every new born baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

Babies are such a sweet and nice way to start people.

Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit. They hold the baby and I go out.

A baby is an in-estimable blessing and a bother.

Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility.

Babies are always more trouble than you thought and more wonderful.

The worst feature of a new born baby is to have his mother's singing.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don?t have any.

I don?t know whether they should say "You have a baby" Or "The baby has you".

When I was born I was so surprised I couldn?t talk for a year and a half.

All babies need a lap.

Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Stop trying to perfect your children, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with them.

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.

Funny Anniversary Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-26T23:46:00.000+05:30

Funny Anniversary Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection
Are we not like two volumes of single book ?

25th Anniversary - A celebration of love as bright and enduring as silver.

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.

True love stories never end.

Anniversary : A time to celebrate the beauty, gift, and the blessing of enduring love.

Knowing you will be with me in all my tomorrows, makes my today so wonderful.

There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to your loved one.

On this our anniversary, we may not have wealth, but we do have each other and that is worth more than anything in the world.

A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.

I will not love you for the rest of your life, but for the rest of my life.

Marriage is choosing someone again and again to love and to cherish with each new dawn.

Our anniversary is a time to look back at the good times and a time to look ahead to live our dreams together.

A successful married life requires falling in love many times, but always with the same person.

Love is there when both person are more concerned for the other than for one's self.

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

Sometimes, when only one person is missing, and the whole world seems desolated.

Love is the best refreshment in life.

No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married for quarter of a century.

The secret to having a good married life is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent and it must be equal.

It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do ..... it's who you have beside you.

We have changed over the years, but the sparkle in your eyes is as bright as ever, and my love for you is even stronger.

Side by side - Year by year.

The difficulty with married life is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.

Love begins in a moment, grows over time, and lasts for eternity.

Funny American Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-26T23:41:00.000+05:30

Funny American Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.

America's best buy is a telephone call to the right man.

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.

America is the only nation in history which, miraculously, has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.

The business of America is business and the chief ideal of the American people is idealism.

America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn't standing still.

At least the Pilgrim Fathers used to shoot Indians: the Pilgrim Children merely punch time clocks.

If you think the United States has stood still, who built The largest shopping center in the world?

It is impossible for a stranger traveling through the United States to tell from the appearance of the people or the country whether he is in Toledo, Ohio, or Portland, Oregon. Ninety million Americans cut their hair in the same way, eat each morning exactly the same breakfast, tie up the small girls curls with precisely the same kind of ribbon fashioned into bows exactly alike; and in every way all try to look and act as much like all the others as they can.

The main thing that endears the United Nations to member governments, and so enables it to survive, is its proven capacity to fail. You can safely appeal to the United Nations in the comfortable certainty that it will let you down.

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff-box from an emperor.

The keynote of American civilization is a sort of warm-hearted vulgarity. The Americans have none of the irony of the English, none of their cool poise, none of their manner. But they do have friendliness. Where an Englishman would give you his card, an American would very likely give you his shirt.

Funny American Sayings and Quotes

2007-03-26T23:32:00.000+05:30

Funny American Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection
I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.

America's best buy is a telephone call to the right man.

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.

America is the only nation in history which, miraculously, has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.

The business of America is business and the chief ideal of the American people is idealism.

America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn't standing still.

At least the Pilgrim Fathers used to shoot Indians: the Pilgrim Children merely punch time clocks.

If you think the United States has stood still, who built The largest shopping center in the world?

It is impossible for a stranger traveling through the United States to tell from the appearance of the people or the country whether he is in Toledo, Ohio, or Portland, Oregon. Ninety million Americans cut their hair in the same way, eat each morning exactly the same breakfast, tie up the small girls curls with precisely the same kind of ribbon fashioned into bows exactly alike; and in every way all try to look and act as much like all the others as they can.

The main thing that endears the United Nations to member governments, and so enables it to survive, is its proven capacity to fail. You can safely appeal to the United Nations in the comfortable certainty that it will let you down.

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff-box from an emperor.

The keynote of American civilization is a sort of warm-hearted vulgarity. The Americans have none of the irony of the English, none of their cool poise, none of their manner. But they do have friendliness. Where an Englishman would give you his card, an American would very likely give you his shirt.

Funny Alcohol Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-26T23:28:00.000+05:30

Funny Alcohol Sayings Quotes and Quotations Collection

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much. Then again, don't drink too little.

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend !!!!

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

There is a devil in every berry of the grape.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I drink to forget I drink.

I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn't hold water.

The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

The whole world is about three drinks behind.

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

Funny Ambition Sayings and Quotes

2007-03-26T20:21:00.000+05:30

Funny Ambition Sayings Quotes and Quotations Collection

To be ambitious of true honor, of the true glory and perfection of our natures, is the very principle and incentive of virtue.
---Sir Philip Sidney ---

Every child has great ambitions. As he grows, he is bombarded by negative suggestions -- you can't do this; you can't do that; be careful; look for security, and so on. Year by year, he experiences the ''realities'' of life, and his ambitions fade away. Figuratively speaking, most children die by the time they reach their adulthood.
---Shall Sinha ---

Ambition if it feeds at all, does so on the ambition of others.
----Susan Sontag 1933--, American Essayist --

Ambition is an idol, on whose wings great minds are carried only to extreme; to be sublimely great or to be nothing.
---Robert Southey---

There are glimpses of heaven to us in every act, or thought, or word, that raises us above ourselves.
---Arthur P. Stanley ---

Ambition often puts Men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same position with creeping.
----Jonathan Swift 1667-1745, Anglo-Irish Satirist ---

If you wish to reach the highest, begin at the lowest.
----Publilius Syrus 1st Century BC, Roman Writer ---

Where there are large powers with little ambition... nature may be said to have fallen short of her purposes.
---Sir Henry Taylor ---

As he was valiant, I honor him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.
----William Shakespeare---

The very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.
---William Shakespeare---

Funny Advice Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-26T20:15:00.000+05:30

Funny Advice Sayings Quotes and Quotations Collection

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

The people sensible enough to give good advice are usually sensible enough to give none.

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

Unless a president can protect the privacy of the advice he gets, he cannot get the advice he needs.

We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves.

When a thing is done, advice comes too late.

When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice.

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.

The advice of their elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books.

The art of advice is to make the recipient believe he thought the thought of it himself.

The best advice is this: Don't take advice and don't give advice.

The best advice one can offer to both press and public is the suggestion Ronald Reagan himself gave to students in Chicago ... "Don't let me get away with it. Check me out. Don't be the sucker generation."

Funny Age Sayings and Quotes

2007-03-26T16:57:00.000+05:30

Funny Age Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.

Youth is wasted on the young.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

There's no such thing as old age, there is only sorrow.

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

To resist the frigidity of old age, one must combine the body, the mind, and the heart. And to keep these in parallel vigor one must exercise, study, and love.

True is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are only young once. That is all society can stand.

We pay when old for the excesses of youth.

We should so provide for old age that it may have no urgent wants of this world to absorb it from meditation on the next. It is awful to see the lean hands of dotage making a coffer of the grave.

We've put more effort into helping folks reach old age than into helping them enjoy it.

Funny Age Quotes

2007-03-26T16:47:00.000+05:30

Funny Age Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection
Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.

There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you.

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

I grow more intense as I age.

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

A young man is embarrassed to question an older one.

The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes.

Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say I felt younger at sixty than I felt at twenty.

Young men's minds are always changeable, but when an old man is concerned in a matter, he looks both before and after.

It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides.

Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.

Middle age is when your classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.

With age come the inner, the higher life. Who would be forever young, to dwell always in externals ?

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Funny Adversity Quotes

2007-03-26T16:43:00.000+05:30

Funny Adversity Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection
And if thou shouldst be cast into the a pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the bdeep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to chedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of dhell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee eexperience, and shall be for thy good.

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.

If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes.

If you're going through hell, keep going.

Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose.

Sometimes the littlest things in life are the hardest to take. You can sit on a mountain more comfortably than on a tack.

Strong men greet war, tempest, hard times. They wish, as Pindar said, to tread the floors of hell, with necessities as hard as iron.

Sweet are the uses of adversity, Which like the toad, ugly and venomous, Wears yet a precious jewel in his head; And this our life, exempt from public haunt, Find tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, And good in everything.

That some good can be derived from every event is a better proposition than that everything happens for the best, which it assuredly does not.

The actual tragedies of life bear no relation to one's preconceived ideas. In the event, one is always bewildered by their simplicity, their grandeur of design, and by that element of the bizzare which seems inherent in them.

The art of living lies less in eliminating our troubles than in growing with them.

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

The darkest hour has only sixty minutes.

If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can’t you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to bprison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like cwolves for the blood of the lamb;

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.

Funny Ability Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-26T16:41:00.000+05:30

Collection of funny Ability Quotes Sayings and Quotations
It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test.

God does not ask about our ability, but our availability.

The height of ability consists in a thorough knowledge of the real value of things, and of the genius of the age in which we live.

To know how to hide one's ability is great skill.

The Creator has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.

Ability hits the mark where presumption overshoots and diffidence falls short.

Ability is sexless.

Natural abilities can almost compensate for the want of every kind of cultivation, but no cultivation of the mind can make up for the want of natural abilities.

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.

The abilities of man must fall short on one side or the other, like too scanty a blanket when you are abed. If you pull it upon your shoulders, your feet are left bare; if you thrust it down to your feet, your shoulders are uncovered.

Wicked people are always surprised to find ability in those that are good.

They are able because they think they are able.

The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what a man or woman is able to do that counts.

We all have ability. The difference is how we use it.

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.

Natural abilities are like natural plants; they need pruning by study.

Ability is of little account without opportunity.

The extent of your consciousness is limited only by your ability to love and to embrace with your love the space around you, and all it contains

No amount of ability is of the slightest avail without honor.

Ability without honor is useless.

The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing weary.

Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.

Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.

There is something that is much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability.

I add this, that rational ability without education has oftener raised man to glory and virtue, than education without natural ability.

Natural ability without education has more often raised a man to glory and virtue than education without natural ability.

I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.

All endeavor calls for the ability to tramp the last mile, shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil. The fight to the finish spirit is the one...characteristic we must posses if we are to face the future as finishers.

Ability is a poor man's wealth.

Funny Abraham Lincoln Quotes and Sayings

2007-03-26T16:40:00.000+05:30

Funny Abraham Lincoln Sayings Quotes and Quotations Collection

That some should be rich shows that others may become rich, and hence is just
encouragement to industry and enterprise.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Whatever you are, be a good one.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master This expresses my idea of democracy.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Everything I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned
to know who his grandson will be.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation,
conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
--Abraham Lincoln

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
--Abraham Lincoln

The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
--Abraham Lincoln

I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to men.
All the good from the Savior of the world is communicated to us through this book.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

The things I want to know are in books; my best friend
is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it,
above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note,
nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) Address at Gettysburg, (Gettysburg Address) 1863

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

He will have to learn, I know, that all people are not just - that all
men and women are not true. Teach him that for every scoundrel
there is a hero that for every enemy there is a friend. Let him learn early
that the bullies are the easiest people to lick.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives.
I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time
for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all the consequences,
including the vitiating of his temper and loss of self-control.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Things may come to those who wait. But only the things left by those who hustle.
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction
that I had nowhere else to go
--Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

Funny Addiction Sayings and Quotes

2007-03-26T16:37:00.000+05:30

Funny Addiction Sayings Quotes and Quotations Collection

Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users?
--Clifford Stoll --

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.
--Tallulah Bankhead --

I take it to be a principle rule of life, not to be too much addicted to any one thing.
--Terence --

The addiction to sports, therefore, in a peculiar degree marks an
arrested development in man's moral nature.
--Thorstein Veblen --

Addiction should never be treated as a crime.
It has to be treated as a health problem.
We do not send alcoholics to jail in this country.
Over 500,000 people are in our jails who are nonviolent drug users.
--Ralph Nader --

A moderate addiction to money may not always be hurtful; but when taken in
excess it is nearly always bad for the health.
--Clarence Day --

There is only one reason why men become addicted to drugs, they are weak men.
Only strong men are cured, and they cure themselves.
--Martin H. Fischer --

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be
alcohol or morphine or idealism.
--Carl Gustav Jung --

All sins tend to be addictive, and the terminal point of addiction is damnation.
--W H Auden --

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.
--Ann Landers --

Funny Adventure Quotes

2007-03-26T16:35:00.000+05:30

Funny Adventure Sayings Quotes and Quotations Collection
To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you
may be the world An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered.
An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
--G. K. Chesterton --

Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain.
Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life --
facing new challenges, seizing new opportunities, testing our resources a
gainst the unknown and in the process, discovering our own unique potential.
--John Amatt organizer and participant in Canada's
first successful expedition to the summit of Mt Everest.--

Bringing up a family should be an adventure, not an anxious discipline
in which everybody is constantly graded for performance.
--Milton R. Saperstein --

Death is the most beautiful adventure in life.
--Charles Frohman ---

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.
--Helen Keller --

Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly
lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure
in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger,
to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.
--Annie Besant English Peace and Social Justice Advocate ---

There are more adventures on a chessboard than on all the seas of the world
--Pierre Mac ORLAN --