Funny Math Quotes and Sayings

A mathematician is a scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.

Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

Mathematics - the unshaken Foundation of Sciences, and the plentiful Fountain of Advantage to human affairs.

I don't agree with mathematics; the sum total of zeros is a frightening figure.

If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.

Math is radical!

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.

It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.

Arithmetic is where numbers fly like pigeons in and out of your head.

Arithmetic is numbers you squeeze from your head to your hand to your pencil to your paper till you get the answer.

Even stranger things have happened; and perhaps the strangest of all is the marvel that mathematics should be possible to a race akin to the apes.

So if a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics; for in demonstrations, if his wit be called away never so little, he must begin again.


The essence of mathematics is not to make simple things complicated, but to make complicated things simple.

The human mind has never invented a labor-saving machine equal to algebra.

The mathematics are distinguished by a particular privilege, that is, in the course of ages, they may always advance and can never recede.

Go down deep enough into anything and you will find mathematics. ~Dean Schlicter

It is not the job of mathematicians... to do correct arithmetical operations. It is the job of bank accountants.

Trigonometry is a sine of the times.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Mathematics is as much an aspect of culture as it is a collection of algorithms.


Sometimes it is useful to know how large your zero is.

The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

Mathematics is the only good metaphysics.

The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way. Persecution is used in theology, not in arithmetic.

Music is the pleasure the human mind experiences from counting without being aware that it is counting.

How many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards? You can subtract it as many times as you want, and it leaves 76 every time.

But mathematics is the sister, as well as the servant, of the arts and is touched with the same madness and genius.

Still more astonishing is that world of rigorous fantasy we call mathematics.

Mathematics is the supreme judge; from its decisions there is no appeal.

Although he may not always recognize his bondage, modern man lives under a tyranny of numbers.

God does not care about our mathematical difficulties; He integrates empirically.

If there is a God, he's a great mathematician.

The different branches of Arithmetic - Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.

Geometry is not true, it is advantageous.

Infinity is a floorless room without walls or ceiling.

God is real, unless declared integer.

If a healthy minded person takes an interest in science, he gets busy with his mathematics and haunts the laboratory.

Proof is an idol before whom the pure mathematician tortures himself.

In the binary system we count on our fists instead of on our fingers.

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars. That's subtraction.

Why do we believe that in all matters the odd numbers are more powerful?

One of the endlessly alluring aspects of mathematics is that its thorniest paradoxes have a way of blooming into beautiful theories.

The man ignorant of mathematics will be increasingly limited in his grasp of the main forces of civilization.

Although I am almost illiterate mathematically, I grasped very early in life that any one who can count to ten can count upward indefinitely if he is fool enough to do so.

Nature does not count nor do integers occur in nature. Man made them all, integers and all the rest, Kronecker to the contrary notwithstanding.