Redneck Quotes and Sayings

He who laughs last probably doesn’t understand the joke.

Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.

If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!

If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary form.

Don’t worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.

If you lie to the computer, it will get you.

You couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.

If you see an onion ring - answer it!

I’d rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a
5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than…

She’s wound up tighter than the girdle of a baptist minister’s
wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.

My sister is soooooo ugly, we had to tie a pork chop around her
neck to get the dogs to play her.

You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.

It’s colder than a mother-in-law’s love.

She’s uglier than a bucket full of armpits. Bless her heart.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Ain’t no point in beatin’ a dead horse…’course, can’t hurt none either.

I’d love to have a dress just like that, but I don’t go to many Puerto Rican proms.

He’s so stupid, he couldn’t find his ass with both hands.

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11 Comments:

Blogger James Artre said...

She's so ugly, she's got little bruises all over from people touchin' her with ten-foot poles!

July 17, 2010  
Blogger Adam said...

Its colder than a witches tit in a brass bra in the middle of winter

October 22, 2010  
Blogger Silas said...

Its hotter that a freshly f*(^%d fox in a forrest fire.

July 27, 2011  
Blogger Silas said...

Fits like socks on a rooster.

July 27, 2011  
Blogger Silas said...

That dog wont hunt.

July 27, 2011  
Blogger Silas said...

Im as nervous as a whore in church.

July 27, 2011  
Blogger Silas said...

Im as bord as a plank

July 27, 2011  
Blogger Silas said...

Politically correct is picking up a terd from the clean end.

July 27, 2011  
Blogger Krys said...

Its colder than a well diggers ass in the middle of Montana .(:

August 16, 2011  
Blogger Unknown said...

I ain't saying her pants are too tight; it's just that you can read the date on a nickle in her pocket.

May 08, 2012  
Blogger Megan Hynson said...

Did you get hit with an ugly stick?

June 17, 2012  

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