Funny American Sayings and Quotes

Funny American Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection
I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.

America's best buy is a telephone call to the right man.

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.

America is the only nation in history which, miraculously, has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.

The business of America is business and the chief ideal of the American people is idealism.

America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn't standing still.

At least the Pilgrim Fathers used to shoot Indians: the Pilgrim Children merely punch time clocks.

If you think the United States has stood still, who built The largest shopping center in the world?

It is impossible for a stranger traveling through the United States to tell from the appearance of the people or the country whether he is in Toledo, Ohio, or Portland, Oregon. Ninety million Americans cut their hair in the same way, eat each morning exactly the same breakfast, tie up the small girls curls with precisely the same kind of ribbon fashioned into bows exactly alike; and in every way all try to look and act as much like all the others as they can.

The main thing that endears the United Nations to member governments, and so enables it to survive, is its proven capacity to fail. You can safely appeal to the United Nations in the comfortable certainty that it will let you down.

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff-box from an emperor.

The keynote of American civilization is a sort of warm-hearted vulgarity. The Americans have none of the irony of the English, none of their cool poise, none of their manner. But they do have friendliness. Where an Englishman would give you his card, an American would very likely give you his shirt.