Funny Irish Quotes and Sayings

Funny Irish Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

No man is an Ireland.

In dreams begins responsibility.

Irish Nobel Prize-winning poet

If the whole human race lay in one grave, the
epitaph on its headstone might well be: `It seemed
a good idea at the time.'

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how
tall your grandfather was.

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover? You
don't want to press your luck.

May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction!

You never miss the water till the well has run dry.

Half a loaf of bread is better than no bread at all.

Remember even if you loose all, keep your good name; for if you loose that you are worthless.

Saint Patrick was a gentleman...Who through
strategy and stealth...Drove all the snakes from
Ireland...Here's a drinkee to his health! But not
too many drinkees...Lest we lose ourselves and
then...Forget the good Saint Patrick...And see
them snakes again!

GOD KEEP MY JEWEL THIS DAY FROM DANGER
From tinker and pooka and black-hearted stranger
From harm of the water and hurt of the fire
From the horns of the cows going home to the byre
From teasing the ass when he's tied to the manger
From stones that would bruise and from thorns of the briar
From evil red berries that waken desire
From hunting the gander and vexing the goat
From depths o' seawater by Danny's old boat
From cut and from tumble --- from sickness and weeping
MAY GOD have my jewel this day in his keeping.

THE FIDDLER OF DOONEY
When I play on my fiddle in Dooney,
Folk dance like a wave of the sea;
My cousin is priest in Kilvarnet,
My brother in Moharubuiee.

I passed my brother and cousin,
They read in their books of prayer;
I read in my book of songs
I bought at the Sligo fair.

When we come at the end of time,
To Peter sitting in state,
He will smile on the three old spirits,
But call me first through the gate.

For the good are always the merry,
Save by an evil chance,
And the merry love the fiddle
And the merry love to dance;

And when the folk there spy me,
They will all come up to me,
With "Here is the fiddler of Dooney!"
And dance like a wave of the sea."

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold
onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off
the earth.

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to
find another Irishman to make a speech to.

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields
and, Until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His hand

May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full
moon on a dark night, and the road downhill all
the way to your door.

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures
in the doctor's book

In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced
to talk to God.

The most beautiful music of all is the music of
what happens.

When I realized what I had turned out to be was a
lousy, two-bit pool hustler and a drunk, I wasn't
depressed at all. I was glad to have a profession.

Irish Pool Player
I have never liked working. To me a job is an
invasion of privacy

Irish Pool Player
One of the worst things that can happen in life is
to win a bet on a horse at an early age.

Irish Pool Player
To please himself only the cat purrs.

May those who love us love us
And those who don't love us
May God turn their hearts,
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.