Welcome to our Cool Funny Quotes and Sayings. There are lots of short funny quotes on our website.These quotes are short enough to remember and funny to make you laugh till you loose your pant off your butts.You can use these quotes and sayings in your emails, taglines, greetings, on t shirts and can present them in small social gatherings to make a cheerful and humorous climate.Please feel free to submit you new funny quotes to our collections. We update regularly.

Funny Halloween Sayings and Quotes

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
- Jean Baudrillard

I see my face in the mirror and go, ‘I’m a Halloween costume? That’s what they think of me?
- Drew Carey

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
- William Shakespeare

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
- Erma Bombeck

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.’ I didn’t know what to do. I’d knock on people’s doors and go, ‘Trick or treat. No thank you.’
- Rita Rudner

When witches go riding,
and black cats are seen,
the moon laughs and whispers,
‘tis near Halloween.
- Anonymous

There is something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceivable mystery.
- Joseph Conrad

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
- Lindsay Lohan

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
- Rodney Dangerfield

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
- Jean Baudrillard

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on.
- River Phoenix

I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
- Charles Swartz

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.
- Richard Harris Barharn

On Halloween, witches come true;
Wild ghosts escape from dreams.
Each monster dances in the park.
- Nicholas Gordon

Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting, Lizard’s leg, and owlet’s wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
- William Shakespeare

After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.
- Emily Luchetti

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.
- Chris Rock

The werewolf is neither man nor wolf, but a satanic creature with the worst qualities of both.
- Warner Oland

The witches fly
Across the sky,
The owls go, “Who? Who? Who?”
The black cats yowl
And green ghosts howl,
“Scary Halloween to you!”
- Nina Willis Walter

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